What Was I Thinking? The Beginning Ch. 02

Apathy And Promiscuity

Lately, I've come to a place in life where nothing feels as good as it once did. I get almost no joy from the things that I once loved. Even my favorite foods seem somewhat bland.

Perhaps its due to my recent breakup with Jorge, one of the finest human beings on the planet. I'm not sure. But what scares me is that I really don't feel that bad about it. I don't feel anything about it.

Or maybe the breakup is just another symptom of this pervasive feeling of apathy that seems to have become a way of life for me lately.

When I first met Jorge, he was my raison d'etre. We had a really good thing going between us. Although we didn't actually live together, we did spend a great deal of time together and he was more a part of my life than anyone I've ever known. Even now we remain very good friends and still occasionally engage in sex, because, well, he's fucking hot.

This feeling of ennui that I'm experiencing may just be a mild depression. I feel utterly desensitized. Everything seems to bore the hell out of me and absolutely nothing shocks me anymore.

While I was still moping about, considering what I should do to try and shake off this creeping malaise, I received a phone call from my old boss and mentor, Andrew.

He invited me to his upcoming wedding. And of course I said yes, without any hesitation or reservation. Andrew is one of the few very people in the world that I can say is a true friend. And although I never really aspired to be like him, except the rich part, he was certainly a great role model.

We share a lot of the same mental attitudes. Work ethic being the primary bond between us.

Andrew had been my boss and the comptroller of the company when I first came to work for him. He actually served multiple functions within the company because he's a very smart guy without being an intellectual snob about it.

The first time I met him was in the restroom at work. He walked up to urinal next to the one I was using and casually took a piss. Now there were seven other urinals to choose from and we were the only two people in there.

Suddenly he rips this huge fart. You know, the kind that shake the floor beneath your feet. Anyway, it was my first day, so I had no idea who he was, since he'd been on vacation during my hiring process.

"Fuck, how long have you been saving that one up?" I laughed.

"Since the staff meeting." He confided, chuckling. "I let a few silent ones go during the meeting, but they weren't particularly toxic."

Still laughing a bit, I went to the sink to wash my hands and Andrew was right on my heels. Immediately I got sense that he was going to try something. Its happened before.

"You must be Craig". He said, smiling at me in the mirror while washing his hands.

"Yeah, I just started today." I smiled back.

After drying our hands, we shook and again Andrew twisted up his face and let another one rip. Again, it was loud as hell and I busted out laughing.

"Dude, you should have that checked out. I think you may have blown a gasket on that one." I smiled.

"Yeah, fucking breakfast burritos. I've gotta start eating better." He said, looking me up and down. "Anyway, I'm Andrew Wyndham. Your new boss."

My jaw dropped.

Seeing the expression on my face Andrew just chuckled, ushered me out of the bathroom and into his office.

We had an instant rapport. We just seemed to click. And before I knew it, I was managing my department while he moved up to Chief Financial Officer. My department still fell under his aegis, so I continued to be directly under him.

He really took me under his wing, explaining everything that he did and why he did it that way. I listened and learned, absorbing almost everything. Andrew seemed to enjoy having me as his protege almost as much as I enjoyed him being my mentor.

Every time we interacted with each other he made a point of putting his arm around my shoulder and dragging me into his office or where ever he happened to going at the time.

In all honesty, I had a bit of crush on Andrew. Just watching him run a meeting or simply dealing with another employee gave me such a hardon. But I kept those thoughts to myself for obvious reasons.

For the first eighteen months that I worked there, the only image I masturbated to was the one of Andrew that I kept in my mind. Sure he was at least a decade and a half older than me, but he was still hot.

At about six foot two, he was extremely fit. Devastatingly handsome and always very sure of himself. You could see his confidence in the way he moved. In a suit, his body is utterly enthralling, but on the few occasions that I'd seen him jeans and a t-shirt, I marvel at his magnificence. The man was truly a god.

Eventually, when I left the company, it was Andrew who brokered the deal for me and my co-author to sell of our software product to the highest bidder. And that deal put us both on easy street.

Andrew was a ruthless negotiator and took nothing for himself but a thanks for his efforts. It was the art of the deal that fed his ego. Besides he was already richer than me and my co-author, several times over.

When the deal was done he patted me on the back and said, "You don't ever have to work again for the rest of your life." And he was certainly right about that.

I genuinely loved Andrew. And I'm sure the feeling was mutual.

When I moved from the Midwest out to the west coast, he came out several times to help me flesh out the plans for my new house. That was about five years ago.

So when I got the call about his upcoming nuptials I was a bit surprised, but certainly glad to hear from him. We chatted about this and that for a while, then he told me about his new fiancee.

"Well, what did you do with the last one?" I chuckled into the phone.

"Well, you know, sometimes, these things just run their course. She got a pretty good settlement." He laughed. "Now down to brass tacks, how soon can I expect you? You'll stay at the house of course."

"Well how soon, is soon?" I inquired.

"ASAP!"

"I can be on a plane tomorrow." I assured him. "Is that soon enough?"

"Outstanding!" He boomed, in classic fashion. "I'll send a car to meet you."

Andrew's house is magnificent. A huge sprawling affair, superbly appointed. I was thrilled every time he invited me over, which was fairly frequently when I worked for him.

On the flight from LAX to Cleveland, I noticed a good looking young man sitting across the aisle from me. Every time he caught my eye he'd give me a slight smile.

I could feel a little bit of the old me coming back to life. For the first time in months I felt something more than apathy and indifference. And that something was a powerful erection. Pretty soon the young man got up and walked toward the bathroom.

A few seconds later I followed him. He wasn't in there very long. Standing very close to the door, I waited until I heard him open the latch and stepped closer. When he opened the door I was standing right there, looking at him.

He looked rather startled to see me standing there, as well he should. We locked eyes for a moment and then I stepped forward pushing him back into the small lavatory. I quickly locked the door behind me and stood almost nose to nose with him. I was completely still and just stared at him. Finally a little smile crossed his face and he reached up and put his hand on my chest.

It was cramped as hell in that tiny space. There was barely enough room to move. But we were able to kiss while opening each other's trousers. Soon we both had our pants down to our ankles and were fondling each other's cocks. I squeezed his hairy little ass with both hands and he immediately knew what I wanted, so he struggled to turn around.

He used his spit to lube his hole and I used my spit to lube my cock. Then I took aim at his hole. He pushed himself back and I pushed forward. Even with spit it was still a very dry fuck.

Eventually I was able to force my cock inside him. He moaned very quietly as I slid myself up into him. Soon he was rocking back and forth on my cock. And while I fucked him from behind I was able stroked his meat, apparently to his great delight.

The heat of his body and the closeness of our proximity had me pouring sweat. I was fully inside him and my cock was throbbing wildly as it sliced through his body. He took over jerking himself and suddenly he shuddered. I knew he was shooting his load when I felt his hole constrict tightly around my rampaging member.

That set me off. I felt my own body start tighten and my pace quickened. I drove into him as fast as I could. I was straining for release and then it happened. I exploded with a massive rush of fluid up his backside. Torrents of cum flew from my cock as I convulsed and drove myself deeper into him.

When I was done, incredibly I was still hard. But of course I knew I had to pull out. As I went to slide out he grabbed my butt cheek and held me still while he ground his backside into my crotch and sighed a little.

Finally we both cleaned up and straightened our clothes. We never said a word to each other. Just smiles and a few pecking kisses. I went out first and took my seat once again. A minutes later he returned to his seat. He flashed me a great big grin and I gave him a wink, then nodded off to sleep.

Not the best fuck I've ever had, but it certainly was satisfying. Like a cold beer on a really hot day. Usually I feel some twinge of guilt about having anonymous sex with a stranger, but this time I felt nothing but satisfaction. I was glad that he didn't speak.

When I got off the plane Andrew's driver was there waiting with a sign that had my last name on it. I felt a little like a rock star. Before I knew it I was in the back of a limousine and slowly moving out away from the airport.

I hadn't been back to Cleveland since I left, but not much about the city appeared to have changed in the intervening years.

When we pulled up to the house, I was not at all prepared for the young man who opened the door at Andrew's house.

"You must be Craig." He said smiling, dripping wet, wiping his hands on the towel around his waist.

"Yes, I am." I said, removing my sunglasses.

The young man was quite striking. His big brown eyes were so clear and accepting. His whole face lit up with a bright smile. He seemed genuinely glad to see me. And even thought I had no idea who he was, I was very pleased to see him.

Every single muscle on his beautiful body stood out, glistening with moisture in the early morning sun. His short, dark locks still saturated and dripping.

"Sorry, I was just taking a quick dip", he said shaking my hand and forcefully pulling me inside.

"Hi, I'm Jason. First of all, let me apologize, I was suppose to meet you at the airport, but I'm really bad with early morning appointments." He confessed, grabbing my bags. "You won't tell dad, will you?"

"Of course." I stammered, barely able to contain my drool. "I mean no, I won't say a word."

"Cool", he flashed that great big smile again. "So, let's get you settled in. Follow me."

Suddenly I realized that this must be Andrew's son. I'd met him only briefly, a long time ago. Boy, he sure had grown up.

I couldn't help noticing how nice and round his ass was as I followed him up the stairs. But I had to check myself, because this was my friend's son and I should know better. But he was so damn cute.

It must've been six or seven years ago that I'd met him at a dinner party his dad was giving. He was just a scrawny, surly little teenager back then, who'd stormed out after a brief confrontation with Andrew at the dinner table. He was a full grown man, as tall as me now.

"Dad wanted you to be in this room", he waved his hand into a nice suite like room, "but I thought you might you might be more comfortable down the hall closer to another human being. Come on, let me show you."

Clearly the other human being that he was referring to was himself, because the room was almost directly across the hall from his own.

"I kinda thought it would cooler if you were right across from me." Jason smiled at me as sparkling trickles of water raced down his well muscled torso. I noticed that the nipples on his broad and well developed pecs were fully erect. My dick was fully erect as well. Luckily I had my garment bag in front of me to conceal my excitement.

"Yeah, this is great." I said, still a little stupefied. "It looks very comfortable."

"Excellent!" He beamed. "Alright then, make yourself at home. Just let me know if you need anything okay?"

"Thanks Jason, I will." I smiled.

As he walked away I couldn't keep my eyes off his powerful looking legs. Fuck, this guy was sweet looking. I was semi-hypnotized watching his back muscles move and flex as he walked away from me.

"Oh listen, I gotta take a quick shower", he said as he reached the door, "So go on and get yourself settled in."

"Huh, oh yeah, right." I nodded, quickly averting my eyes.

I unpacked, then checked my messages at home on my cellular. Nothing important, except for a call from Jorge. I had left in such a hurry that I'd forgotten to let him know that I would be out of town for a few days.

Jorge and I had been a couple for a quite a while and even though we'd just recently split we still kind of looked out for each other.

Somehow with women, I usually just find myself trapped into a relationship that always ended badly. For some reason women find me irresistible. I find that they generally have only two modes. If I show the slightest bit of kindness to them, they fall head over heels in love with me. Or if I ignore them, they find me cold and aloof and behave hostilely towards me. It simply too much trouble.

Its never occurred to me to tell them that I'm gay. Because even though I prefer male sex partners, I still don't mind an occasional romp in the hay with right girl. As long as it remains uncomplicated. It never does though.

Jorge was different than any other person that I've ever met though. He reached parts of my heart and soul that had previously been unexplored. He personified everything that love should be. In truth, I was a little afraid of how he made feel about him and myself. I was completely in love with him.

It doesn't help matters that he is probably the best looking man I've ever seen in my life. Long before I met him, he was a print model when he was in college. I practically had to twist his off to get him to let me frame a few of the better shots. I still have some of the photos up on my walls at home.

He didn't actually take my virginity, but it sure felt like it. And in a very real sense, he did. Before him I had rarely let other guys put their probing members inside my body. That includes sucking dick as well as being anally penetrated. Before Jorge I had only been fucked twice. But after him, there was no question, I had definitely lost my virginity.

His massive, uncut cock was so large that I really understood what it meant to be fucked by a real man. He had let me fuck him first and then he took me in a way that I'd never expected.

Sometimes when I masturbate, I still replay the words that he said to me on that first night.

"This is going to hurt like hell, but if you love me as much as I love you, you will soon be in heaven with pleasure."

He was wrong. I did love him, but his dick was far too big for me to enjoy it plowing up my bottom. He stretched me to impossible widths and went to incredible depths inside me with his enormous cock. I learned to endure it.

The first thing I remembered is the intense, searing pain. Jorge stroked and kissed my face while his cock was battering my body. It felt like an assault upon my very soul. I knew that his dick didn't belong inside my body, yet here it was. Filling me way beyond capacity.

With each thrust I felt like I was being stuffed and then back to normal when he withdrew. His cock was definitely hitting bottom on the in strokes and I felt it every time. Each inward stroke caused a slight pain deep inside me. I got used to it, but I still felt like my ass ring was going to snap like a rubber band.

His hands and gentle kisses took my mind away from the pain in my gut. So I just clenched my legs around his torso and allowed him to screw me. It was nice to let someone else do the work for a change. He took me for the ride of my life. He fucked me like his own life depended on it. His massive member seemed to dig deeper and deeper into me.

I could hardly catch my breath. Before I even got the message that he was close to orgasm, I was gripping his shoulders and panting like a dog. I didn't know what was happening until I shot a wad between us. I hadn't even known I was close to shooting, it just seemed to erupt without my conscience knowledge.

His body was flying into me like a jackhammer. I wanted this sensation to last forever. When he was done, he pulled out immediately and licked the sperm off my chest and belly. Then he soothed my bruised and battered hole with his fleshy tongue. I couldn't have stopped him if I wanted to, I was just too spent.

When he moved back up to my face, he just looked at me. I had to grab the back of his head and force him to kiss me. No matter what happened after that, I knew we would always remember that moment. He had performed spectacularly and we both knew it.

The thing that really surprised me is that after measuring both our hard cocks I found that his was only a few millimeters thicker than mine. The lengths were the same.

Thankfully, he allowed me to fuck him most of the time. Physically, his larger and stronger body could easily overpower me. But he always allow me to do whatever I pleased to him.

Jorge is a man like no other. He can be your best friend and confidant if you let him. But he can be a real bastard if you cross him. We are much the same that respect.

In the long run his Latino pride wouldn't let me go. And in a wholly real sense I don't want him to let go of me. Jorge was the best thing that ever happen to me. Gorgeous, generous and incredibly intelligent, but somewhat controlling.

Guilt was his game. He was all too aware of my loyal nature and sometimes took advantage of that. A hot man with a great body and a great rap can get his significant other to do just about anything. The addiction to his love is like heroin.

Later, I figured out that I am that guy too. The guy with the hot body and good looks. And perhaps a little controlling in my own right.

I was beginning to losing my perspective being in this relationship and that had to stop.

Despite all that has happened, we still remain very close friends, so I had to return his call immediately lest he think something terrible has happened to me.

Jorge is really big on communication and contact. That was one of the reasons that we drifted apart. He worried too much. He had to know where I was at every given moment in a day and that really got on my nerves. It wasn't enough that we both worked at the same university.

So I called him back immediately.

"Hello Jorge?"

"How are you Craig?" He answered.

Jorge is a full professor with two PhD's and is head of his department at a very reputable university in California. In fact that's where I met him. At the time I was only an instructor who taught a programming class there.

"Glad I caught you. Listen, I had to fly back to Cleveland for the wedding of a friend." I told him.

"Oh, I see. Well, how long will you be there?"

"I'm not sure. No more than a few days I think." I said.

"Alright, well would you like me to pick up you mail while you're away?" He asked.

"Sure, that would be great. Thanks."

"No problem. Have a good time." Jorge said.

Even though we were broken up Jorge was still my best friend. He certainly still took care of me and I appreciated that. He still had a key to my house and was certainly welcome to come and go as he pleased. I liked it that way. I was sure that he did too.