Big Bif's Best Bunghole Banging

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Young stud describes his latest conquest.
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I was going down to the store to get some beer for Monday Night Football when I saw Lolitta the first time. I'd just hawked up a goober, a really good one, you know the kind what stick a little to your lip when you spit it out? Made a nice satisfying splat there on the concrete too. Pooled up good for some geek to step on it. I had to smile at that. Spitting outside's much better than inside, I've always thought.

Then I saw her, across the street. She had huge tits, at least 53 GGG- and they didn't sag a bit even though she didn't have a bra on. The rest of her was nice too. She had squack written all over her. So I ran over there and said hi.

She told me she was new in town and I asked if she wanted to come back to my place. She said sure. She didn't even seem surprised when my place turned out to be a frat house. All the other guys gave me the thumbs up when I walked in with her. I winked back to let 'em know I didn't have the beer, but I hadn't forgotten about it.

Lollita and I went up to my room and talked for some time, five minutes or so. She told me she was eighteen and a virgin and horny and that got all ten inches of my twat hammer hard like granite. So I scooted over and started kissing her. Next thing I knew this babe was trying to lick my tonsils. She couldn't keep her hands off me either.

My hands was all over her body too, mostly her tits though. They felt nice and soft, but firm, just like titties should be. Soon enough she took her top off and I started sucking her nipples. They were huge, the size of my thumb with them big brown bumpy circles around them, like a bullseye for my mouth. Just me sucking on her udders made her cum a couple of times and got her so excited she jumped to her knees and pulled out all eleven inches of my man meat.

I could tell from the look in her eyes she knew why they all call me "Big Bif". She cradled my cock with her melons and tit-fucked me until I was even harder. Then she started sucking me. It was the best blowjob ever. She was taking all twelve inches with every stroke as she deepthroated me. She was milking me so hard she made these sounds that reminded of the noises what used to come from the Holley four barrel on my friend's 1957 Camaro. That baby had a huge V8 engine with double exhaust and huge aluminum tires. It was painted candy apple blue and had these really cool nude chics made out of cardboard hanging from the mirror. Nice car.

Lolleta looked up at me while she sucked. Her eyes reminded me of two brown circles inside of two white circles. I could tell this was going to be my best orgasm ever. Just then my pink torpedo erupted liked a volcano, blasting my hot man lava into her mouth. I must've shot a gallon of man juice down her throat. Maybe even a liter! With a moan, I fell back on my bed.

Next thing I knew I woke up. She must have kept sucking me while I slept because I was already hard again. Then she said she wanted to fuck. I had her clothes off in no time and tossed her on my bed like I was pitching the old pigskin to the fullback.

I rubbed my USDA certified grade A Porterhouse once along her gash, then rammed it home. She said it hurt a bit when I popped her cherry with all thirteen inches of my turgid pole, so I waited five seconds before I started hammering her twat for real. After that she was so wet and warm, much tighter than the other three virgins I had nailed that week. She was screaming and moaning for the whole hour I fucked her and must have cum a dozen times.

Then I felt it building, like a jackhammer in my balls. I could tell this was going to be my best orgasm ever. I let out this howl as my boiling cum shot up my shaft and into her tight wet cunt. It was so tight and wet. My eyes rolled all the way round in my head until they was normal again.

I must've cum for five minutes. She came a couple times too and then she said I was the best lover ever and maybe she might want to marry me. I was looking down into her big beautiful brown nipples trying to think of something nice to say, but I fell asleep before I could think of anything.

Lollitta cleaned all my jizz and her cunt nectar from off of my cock while I slept then said, "Wake up, sleepy head, we're not done. I want you to fuck me in the ass."

Well, I was sure ready to see if all fourteen inches of my steel column would fit up her poop chute, so I tossed her on the bed, rolled her over, and plowed it in. She said it hurt, so I waited another five seconds before I started slamming my bulging python into her tight bunghole all the way to the balls. Her chocolate cherrio was so hot and tight I knew I couldn't last much longer than about ten minutes. I could tell this was going to be my best orgasm ever. I could feel my bloated mast pulsing in the rings of her tight ass while I filled her bowels with long, thick ropes of steaming sperm.

When I woke up it was just in time for the first pitch. Lolita was gone. So was my wallet, but since one of the other guys had went down to get the beer for me I knew they took it and was just playing a joke when they said she stole it. Like any girl with tits that big could be a thief? What a bunch of kidders. Like I can't tell a bullshit story when I hear one!

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AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago
Wrong By A Decade!

Hey, every Real Man KNOWS the first production year for Camaro was 1967 -- NO Camaros existed in 1957!

Secondly, the Python is Sixteen inches when aroused! Don't short change me.

Big Bif

Bunghole reamer xtra-ordinaire.

ZZchromosomeZZchromosomeover 4 years ago

"much tighter than the other three virgins I had nailed that week." Biff, I totally believe you. Also, I'm pretty sure I went to college with about ten of you.

DominaSabineDominaSabineover 6 years ago
Hilarious

Well done.

IrrumatioIrrumatioover 6 years ago
The comments are almost as funny as the story

And some of the commenters are almost as dim as Bif because they didn't realize that "errors" like the "'57 Camarillo," were intentional, just further glimpses into Bif's tentative relationship with reality.

miklosfairmiklosfairover 8 years ago
In need of an editor

Proofreading obviously isn't your forte. First, there were no 1957 Camaro's- they first came out in 1967. Also learn to spell Lolita's name.

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