Same Shit

I'm in a predicament, yeah, I'm in pain, hellish pain.
I felt the gas exit, intermittently for a few seconds, then it hit me, I needed to take a crap.
So, as I go to sit down, and, and my ass purged itself of it's shit.
My throne almost runeth over,
Runeth over, with a stew of warm, wet, slimey, diahrreaesque shit.
My ass is as wet as it will ever be, by foreign fluids, at least.
And not in that warm, wonderful-wet, that can be found in a vagina.
NO, No, no, I assure you, there is no pleasure in this waste sodden explosion.
Well, maybe a little bit of relief when it is all over;
The liquid shit purged itself from it's dark, warm, thin mucous membrane tube that is my ass,
and doesn't look back; though I must; in order to meticulously wipe every square centimeter of it clean.
(Which by the way, I didn't accomplish, the first time.)
I realized that toilet water had splashed up when I put my shorts back on.
I go back to shit again, feeling the pressure of my poo against the last sphincter that leads outside.
Same predicament, yes, same shit.
I'm always dealing with the sameshit.