A Very Special Thanksgiving

"Jake, Jake! Wake up Jake. Jake!"

My eyes opened and I groggily realized that my surgery was over and that I was in recovery. The nurse then told me as much, and asked me if I felt any pain. I could not respond, because my jaw was immobile. She handed me a pad and I wrote, "The fear of gagging is worse than the pain." She showed me how to use the suction device to keep my mouth and throat clear of blood and saliva. That device became my best friend for the next several days.

I gave in to the overpowering urge to sleep once I was in my private room. The nurse on duty was Eric and he took good care of me. I could feel the sting of the percodan in my IV as it made its way into my body. My wife had left me the month before so I was alone. My sister and my father came by on and off to keep me company, but I was asleep most of the time. I dreamt of the times I was still married and how much I loved my wife. I also dreamt of seeing Eric tending to me without his pants on. Maybe that was the drugs, but after all, I am bi-sexual.

I came to that realization a couple of years ago, or I should say that I finally ADMITTED it to myself. It was a bitter pill to swallow but once I faced the truth I felt much better. I could never face my wife with the truth so I allowed things to drift to the point where we both knew there was nothing left to save. I felt like a coward, but I was able to end my marriage and still keep my secret. My wife ended up with someone else. Although I went through the motions of being betrayed I knew that it was all for the best and that she was happier without me.

I can hardly remember the accident. I remember that it was very late and that the roads were slick from a light rain. I was driving through the construction zone hardly being able to see because of the truck in front of me spinning up all of the water from the roadway. Next thing I know I am spinning, then it went black. I recall feeling the cold air on my face as they rolled me from the ambulance into the hospital. I was already wrapped in ice, my jaw being broken in many places. Other than that, I only had minor cuts and abrasions. They told me I was lucky.

Now, here I was in the hospital, post-op. I could talk, but I could not move my teeth. Eric handed me a mirror and smiled, "Hey partner, take a look." I knew I was swollen, but I did not realize how bruised I was, wow.

I handed the mirror back and was able to sound out, "I really don't look like this, I promise."

Eric laughed as he placed the mirror on the table. "Jake, I saw the picture on your driver's license. I am sure you turn lots of heads when you are not all broken up." He touched my arm as he said that and it made me feel very reassured. "Well, I have rounds to make so I will check on you later, buddy." With that, he waved and was out the door.

I smiled as I remembered dreaming about him. There was no question that I was attracted to him. He was about my height, just a tad less than six feet tall and he weighed 170 or so. He had very short dark brown hair and a go-t. Surprisingly, both ears were pierced. I always thought that hospitals were very conservative in their dress code, but perhaps not. He also wore a wedding ring and he looked damned cute in his scrubs.

Eric was off the next day, but I saw him the day after. I was feeling much better, and was taking broth without assistance. I was working word puzzles that my sister had left me. Hmmm, common expressions. "Yma hte sebt anm nwi." Eric walked in and asked, "Hey Jake, good to see ya! You're looking much better. What ya working on?"

"Oh, just some word puzzles to kill time."

Eric looked down at the one in front of me and after a minute said, "That's easy, May the best man win."

I looked up at him and said, I could have got it if I had another minute.

"Yeah, right Einstein. Maybe with a little less percodan you could have done it. I am reducing the dose way down, starting today." Eric was smiling and shaking his head as he checked my IV saying, "I have done more than my share of word puzzles in my time." He chuckled and then left again.

I needed a bath, but since I was going home soon I figured I would just wait. Then it happened. One of the nurses came in to take my vitals and suggested that I bathe. She brought me a package of thick, moistened paper towels and was showing me how to use them when Eric walked back in. "How's it going, Jake? I see Gloria is terrorizing you again. Every three hours, like clockwork, ain't that right Gloria?" He smiled at her and said, "Let me take over here. Room 572 wants his blood pressure taken again." Gloria dutifully gathered her things and left.

I had to pee so I said to Eric, "Man, I am tired of using this plastic urinal. Will you walk me to the bathroom?"

"Of course, let's go!" He helped me out of the bed and untangled all of the tubes and rolled the IV alongside me as I headed for the toilet. "Do you need to sit down, or?"

"Nah, I just gotta pee." I faced the toilet and I felt a little dizzy. Eric held my arm and said, "I am right here buddy, go ahead." As I stood there I felt cold air on my ass. I realized that my gown was not tied at all and that Eric must have quite a clear view of my ass. I smiled to myself, realizing I could not have planned it any better.

Crawling back into the bed, my gown slipped upward and I could not stop it. I started to pull the covers over myself but Eric stopped me. "These will get in the way when I bathe you, man. Gloria won't be coming back.

I leaned against the pillows as Eric washed me. He started with my face and neck. "Lift your arms, Jake." I raised my arms and watched him sponge my armpits, smoothing the hairs and awakening the erogenous zones that I have there. He washed my chest, with a little extra pressure on my nipples, I am sure of it. His touch was gentle and I watched his face as he worked. He was full of concentration.

God was he cute. I started to panic as I felt the cloth washing my balls. Oh god, please don't get erect, please don't....oh no, too late. My cock sprung up at his touch for all the world to see. Well, Eric anyway. He looked at me and smiled, then ran the cloth along my erect shaft. "Jake, don't sweat it, guy. I would have the same reaction if you were giving me the bath."

I noticed that he said if "I" were giving him the bath and not "if someone" were giving him the bath. Hmmm. He had me roll over on my side. I closed my eyes at the sensation of him washing my back. He slowly ran the cloth over the globes of my ass, down in my crack and then he washed my balls again. He was taking his sweet time, I just knew it. I didn't care though...I was loving it and my cock made that quite apparent. Eric pulled me over on my back again and said, "All done." He looked down at me with a wicked smile and said, "Well, almost all done." He then used the cloth to wipe up the pre-cum that was shamelessly coating the tip of my cock.

God, I was equally embarrassed as I was turned on. Eric returned my gown and the covers to the appropriate positions and headed for the door. I called out, "Eric, thanks for the bath. That's normally Gloria's job, right?"

Eric walked back toward me and with a sly grin said, "Technically, yes. The aides report to me so if I decide to give the bath then I will do it. Trust me, I seldom want to do it."

"So why today then, Eric?" He backed toward the door and winked at me before turning around and leaving me with my thoughts. It seemed to me like he was always on the way out the door. Hmm, I guess I am not the only patient around here that he has to take care of.

The doctor came the next day and it was decided that I could leave that night or the next morning...it was up to me. To keep my expenses down, I opted to leave that day. After looking me over the doc said, "OK, let me go tell the nurse station and we will have you out of here by six."

Within minutes, Eric was back with a huge smile on his face. "You're going home! How cool is that?" I didn't respond, so he glanced at me sideways and said, "You DO want to go home, right?"

"Yeah, of course I do." We were silent a moment while he laid my clothes out on the end of the bed.

"Hey Jake, can I ask you something personal? If you find it offensive, just tell me...I won't be hurt."

"Sure Eric, anything."

"Well, you wear a wedding ring but I have not ever seen your wife visit." I kind of hung my head. He got up and said, "Sorry man, I knew I should not have pried."

I touched his arm and said, "Eric, it's not that. It's....well...my wife left me six weeks ago. I miss her and all, but really it was my fault. My heart was not in the marriage anymore. I was distracted by...other things. So, I am headed home to recover alone. Yeah, my family will stop in from time to time but at night when I fall asleep it will be just me and I am not used to that."

Eric changed his gaze from me to the floor, then back to me again. "Jake, I want you to know something. He held up his left hand and pointed to the wedding ring. I may be married, but at night when I fall asleep it might as well be me alone. There is no closeness left and we both know it but just haven't said it out loud. I guess I just want more than she can give me. I just need to figure out what that is."

My eyes locked with Eric's for several moments before I looked away. "Eric, I'm sorry man...I know EXACTLY what you are talking about, believe me." After an uncomfortable silence I said, "Hey! I guess we will just have to be content dating Rosie Palm." I was trying to lighten the moment, not sure what to say, but I could not believe that came out of my mouth. I started to blush, but Eric started laughing so I knew it was all good.

"OK Jake, let's do that, but on one condition." I looked at him quizzically. He continued, "Only if we can double date her sometime." He laughed, I laughed, but I was not sure what we were laughing at. He punched my shoulder good-naturedly and said, "Get dressed, there are some forms to sign and then you are outta here!" With that, he was out the door, again.

As I pulled on my pants a big smile broke across my face. "Does Eric want what I think he wants? I can tell that he trusts me. Oh man, I think he digs me....or does he? I shouldn't jump to any conclusions." I was so confused.

I had just finished getting dressed when my dad arrived along with a different nurse. They had me sign all of the release paperwork. Then Eric came in and added his name and asked me to get into the wheelchair. "Wow, I get to go out in style." Eric chatted with my dad as we got into the elevator and headed down to the lobby.

Eric waited with me by the curb until my dad drove up. Dad shook Eric's hand and thanked him for everything. I looked at Eric and said, "YOU are the world's best nurse."

He smiled, pulled me toward him and patted my back. He whispered into my ear, "Look in your rear pants pocket when you get home."

Next thing I know we are on the highway. Dad was talking to me about work and the weather and how he had to get back to his routine, yada yada. However, I had tuned him out. I was obsessed with knowing what was in my pocket. I fished out a piece of twice-folded paper. I opened it up and read it. "Rof a dogo mite lacl oeris lapm ta siht mrubne. Hes svige a dogo tbha. 555.871.2779. "What the hell!", I said out loud.

My dad asked me what was wrong. "Dad, nothing. Just something I forgot I had in my pocket." I read it again. "Rof a dogo mite lacl oeris lapm ta siht mrubne. Hes svige a dogo tbha." Then it slowly dawned on me. Eric was sending me an encrypted message, just like the puzzles I worked on in the hospital! It took me about fifteen minutes, but I finally figured out what he had written to me.

I folded the paper and closed my eyes with the biggest smile on my face in a very long time.

Dad stayed with me for three days and once I had my meds and diet routine in place, he flew back home. It was just me now. The diet was boring and the TV shows even more so, but I managed to get through the next several weeks. I returned to work part time and began living my life again. Dad had helped me get through all the insurance hassles after the accident. My car was totaled, so I would soon trade the rental for a new car. The splint would be out of my mouth on 11/23 which meant that I could eat like a normal person for Thanksgiving. I was very excited about that!

Every night before bed I would read the note that Eric left in my pocket: "Rof a dogo mite lacl oeris lapm ta siht mrubne. Hes svige a dogo tbha. 555.871.2779." I couldn't help but laugh every time I translated it as: "For a good time call Rosie Palm at this number. She gives a good bath. 555.871.2779."

It had taken me several attempts to reach Eric at the number he gave me. He did not return my call for several days. When he did, he apologized and said he was crazy busy and that things were not good at home. "Eric, man, I'm sorry. I understand, really."

"Forget about that Jake. Did you find the note in your pocket?"

"Yes, Eric I did." I was suddenly shy but I managed to stammer out the reply that I had been rehearsing for so long, "Eric, you are TOO funny. I, um, we should, I mean I think that...god Eric, I'll just say it. I think we should invite Rosie over and see where things go. Do you want to come over?" Silence. God, I blew it. He was sending the note as a joke and I just ran with it and imagined that he wanted me and now I just put my foot in my mouth. "Eric, are you still there?"

I heard him sigh into the phone before saying, "Yeah, I'm still here. I am just thinking."

"Eric, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that..." Silence again, followed by another sigh.

"Jake, Jake, it's not that, don't be sorry. When does your splint come out?" I told him November 23. "That's Thanksgiving week, right? I want to take you to dinner, maybe be with you the first time you eat like the rest of us, hehe."

"Eric, that would be great. Hey, I have a better idea. I like to cook and I am really wanting to make something good instead of soft foods! Maybe you can come over here for dinner at my apartment after my splint is out?" I held my breath. My fantasy was to have him there with me, alone, just in case he reciprocated my desire for him.

"Jake, that sounds great, I would love it. Things at home are tough and I don't know where I will even BE that week. I am planning on moving out as soon as I can. I just don't want to live in this sham of a marriage any longer. Let me call you next week, OK?"

"Sure, Eric...thanks for calling back and...thanks for the note. I read it every day."

"Great, I was really hoping you would like it Jake. See ya."

The next week could not arrive soon enough. I could not wait for Eric to call me with the plan. I got busy planning the menu. I would grill and maybe we could eat on the balcony. Eric finally called, but it wasn't until the day before my splint was coming off. "Jake, sorry buddy, I moved out and I am living with my brother and his wife until I find a place of my own. I just worked two double shifts and I am beat. At least I can sleep Wednesday and Thursday."

"Eric, don't tell me you are going to spend Thanksgiving sleeping!

"Yeah, my bro is going out of town to be with his in-laws and he is the only family I have in town. That's cool though, I usually spend T-day at work Jake! It's really no big deal."

Smiling, I asked the inevitable question, "Eric, will you please have Thanksgiving here with me?" Silence.

Eric responded in a quiet voice, "Jake, isn't your family around? You should be spending it with them, not with a tired nurse.

"No, they are on the East coast. They invited me, but I said no. I guess I was feeling sorry for myself seeing as how I am single again. And by the way, I don't consider you just a "tired nurse. You are so much more than that. Nonetheless, please get some rest between now and then, OK?"

Eric said the words I was waiting for, "Jake, that would be very cool. I promise to get some sleep. What time and where do you live?" Life was starting to good again!

Finally, I went to my long-awaiting appointment to have the splint removed. "Well, you healed perfectly and your jaw looks great. You will need to work with the orthodontist for a little while, but my work is done!" The oral surgeon then handed me a mirror and I saw my newly aligned jaw in its healed state for the first time. The doc had actually moved the lower jaw forward a bit as a cosmetic gesture, so my profile looked even better than before. I left feeling like a new man.

"Turkey is thawed, check. Ingredients for the salad are ready, check. Potatoes are peeled, check. Wine in the fridge, check. I read down my list out loud and realized that I was on schedule for the big meal." Eric would be here at 3:00 pm, and he insisted on bringing two pies and the rolls. He said he would surprise me on the type of pies. After some initial resistance I said OK. My big fear was that he would call and cancel because something came up at work. Eric explained that most nurses are on call on holidays because they tended to be busy times.

I tried to distract myself with setting the table and making the place look good. I have fairly good taste and I am a romantic at heart. I put Nora Jones, Jim Brickman and some light classical music in the CD changer, turned the lights down low and had a low fire going in the fireplace. A few candles added the final touch.

My townhouse apartment was an end unit, and it faced toward a lake with a fountain in it. I liked to sit outside on the balcony with a glass of wine and process my day. I was lucky to have such a private unit. Lately I had been thinking only about Eric. Being bisexual was only a label to me. What did it really mean? I didn't know what it was like to be with a guy. I just knew that I needed to make that happen, but it had to be with someone special.

I was terrified of anonymous sex. Over time I had many offers from guys like me whom I met on-line, but I always chickened out. My problem is that I find it very hard to trust anyone. I was always afraid to take a chance for fear of being humiliated.

Somehow, inviting Eric over seemed less a chance than it did a natural progression. Now, the turkey was in the oven and I was waiting for Eric, dressed in a crisp navy shirt and khakis and nervous as a cat. I would not allow myself to chicken out this time. This just might be the someone special that I was waiting for.

Eric was late. I poured myself another glass of wine and assumed the worst...he was not going to show. I had his cell phone number programmed into my cell phone. I hit the send button. It starting to ring but I quickly hung up. God, I didn't want to hound him. He would be here if he wanted to be here.

Another hour went by and my cell phone rang. "Jake, your phone's been busy for two hours, I have been trying to call you!" I walked over to the PC and saw that I had AOL active. DAMN! I signed off while apologizing to him. Eric continued on, "Thank god you just called my cell phone. Why did you hang up? Never mind, at least it gave me another number to reach you."

"Jake, I wanted to make the pies from scratch, so I did, but I have had some trouble. They aren't working out so I started over again." I started laughing, relieved at the reason for his being late.

"Eric, guy, just bring the original pies as they are and don't worry about them being all pretty." I surprised myself by saying, "I have a glass of wine waiting for you and I can't wait to see you." Unfazed, Eric said, "I will be there in thirty minutes."

I was on the balcony with the door open, so I could hear the doorbell. 45 minutes, and still no Eric. Then I heard his voice from down below. He yelled up to me, "Jake, THERE you are. How do I get up there? I have been looking all over for your apartment!" I looked down to see him standing there, arms full, looking up at me from the greenbelt.