The Christmas Wish

The flight was smooth, and on time. It was a chartered flight with just the family. The plane was donated by a movie star and he was also the pilot. Madison had met him, thanked him for his generosity and wrangled a promise of at least two more trips in the coming year. She was very good at what she did. There was a limousine waiting at the airport for them and she loaded the family inside. The trip to the hotel was short but made more exciting by the interior of the limo. No one in that family had even been inside one before and it added to the trip.

Once checked into the hotel, Madison made some calls and within an hour had three tours set up. She went on the first with the family and then went back to the hotel until later when she met them for dinner. Lena was tired but happy and she couldn't stop talking about the things she had done and seen that day. She was excited about tomorrow and doubted she would sleep that night. She looked pale and tired but she was not daunted. Madison had a difficult time holding back her tears as she watched the family rally around one of their own that was wounded. It tore her heart to see this much love. She excused herself to spare the others her tears. Their strength demanded hers.

Back in her room on the last evening, she got a map to check a location for a special request. She found what she was looking for, made a call to confirm that the place would be open when they went and made her plans. To be safe, she called Melissa's mother and told her of her daughter's request, getting the mother's permission. This was a special request, not for Lena but for her sister, Melissa. Madison had promised. She sat back, considered taking a shower but instead, put on a dark sweater and waited until it was time. At 10:00 on the dot, she rose, went down the hall to Melissa's room and knocked. Melissa answered almost immediately and motioned her in, looking up and down the hall. She smiled inwardly but did as she asked. She shut the door.

"Is it time? Can we go now? I'm ready." Melissa was excited and her face glowed.

"It's time. We'll go down to the lobby and take a taxi. Get your coat. It's very cold outside."

Melissa grabbed a red coat with a hood trimmed in white fur, and a pair of red gloves and shiny black boots. She put them on and Madison thought that she looked for all the world like a Christmas elf, ready to help load Santa's sleigh. They slipped out the door, down the hall and then down the stairs. At this time of night, there was nobody moving but them. They went out the back way, around to the corner where Madison signaled a taxi. Madison gave the cabby the address and they were whisked quickly to the church where they got out.

Melissa stopped in front of the church and just stared up at the high bell tower and the cross, sitting on top. To Madison, the church appeared to be nothing special, just one of the many churches in San Francisco. It was beautiful, she had to agree but she couldn't understand Melissa's obsession with it. She watched the girl without comment and waited until she had finished her fascination with the cross. When Melissa went up the steps to the doors, Madison followed.

Inside, Melissa went to the fount in the entrance, dipped her fingers in the holy water, touched her brow, and then went in. There were several people there, just sitting quietly, gazing at the altar where the face of Christ on the cross gazed down on them. Melissa went down to the very front, knelt, made the sign of the cross and then came back toward the middle rows. She slid in and knelt forward on the kneeling rail. Madison, not a Catholic, and not even very religious, watched. She was touched at the dedication of the twelve-year-old, and was glad she brought her. It was something she could do to make her trip here special.

Melissa's family was staying at the hotel until tomorrow, when they would all head back to Philadelphia and home. Melissa had stayed mainly in the background during the days before and said little. This wasn't her trip and she let her sister have the pleasure and didn't complain once. It was by accident that Madison found out her desire to see this church. They were talking together one afternoon while Lena was enjoying the view of the bay from one of the hillside shops. Melissa mentioned the church and asked Madison if she knew where it was. Madison told her and Melissa said she would like to go. Madison promised she would make sure that Melissa saw it, and now they were here. Melissa wanted to keep it from Lena and her family for her own reasons. Madison accepted that without question. Wishes Unlimited often helped other family members to cope with the looming death of a loved one in their own way. This was Melissa's way and Madison would honor it.

She stood in the entrance, watching Melissa pray. She had no idea of what it was she was praying for, but imagined it had to do with her ill sister. Melissa seemed the type to do what she could for others. She was a sweet girl and Madison was happy to have been able to help her. As she watched, thinking of her own sad life, she wondered once again, why she had destroyed her marriage but once again, she had no answer. The thought of what she lost caused her eyes to glisten with tears as the sadness threatened to overwhelm her again as it did so often now. She tried to pull herself back to the young girl she was here for and sighed, trying to concentrate on Melissa, but the sadness came anyway and she surrendered to it. It was almost a friend now and she welcomed it as one of the few emotions that she still felt. Otherwise, she was numb inside. But that would all come to an end Christmas Eve.

As she focused again on the young girl kneeling, Madison could swear that there was a soft glow about Melissa. It seemed to come from within her and illuminated her head and shoulders as she knelt there in prayer. Madison blinked, wiped her eyes and looked again. The glow was still there. As she tried to make sense of what she was seeing, she felt a calm wash over her. Instead of wondering, she felt a sense of wonder. Her pain disappeared and her loneliness seemed not to be so bad. Suddenly, she was content and a warmth flowed into her. She moved back, once again wiped her eyes and looked for the young girl and that magical glow. Instead, she saw Melissa standing and moving down the aisle, coming back to where she was standing. Shaken, Madison watched her come up the aisle. There was nothing unusual now and Melissa seemed calm.

"Thank you for bringing me here tonight. I can't tell you how much it means to me."

Melissa took her hand and raised it to her lips, looking into her eyes. It was a sweet gesture and Madison forgot all about what she thought she had seen and hugged the little girl to her.

"I'm glad I could bring you. Did you do what you wanted to do? We have time if there's more you want to do. I don't mind."

"No, I'm done. We can go now. And thank you again."

As they moved out of the church and down the steps, Melissa turned to Madison and said, "Everything will be better for you now. You won't be sad anymore."

She turned away and walked down to the curb, waiting for the taxi to take them back. Madison was stunned and wanted to ask the girl what she meant but when she got there, a cab was just coming around the corner so Madison flagged it down. They got in and headed back to the hotel. It was a short trip and Madison respected Melissa's need for quiet and said nothing.

Madison led Melissa back upstairs and saw her to her room without asking her what she meant. It was probably just Melissa's way of saying that they could go home and Madison could get back to her family. She didn't know Madison's plight so she just assumed she would be with her own family, so rather than go into it, Madison let it go and just forgot about it.

The flight home the next day was uneventful and the family was tired but happy. Lena looked better but it was probably just adrenalin. Madison hoped she could enjoy Christmas and maybe even New Years, but it wasn't certain. She saw them off, said a private goodbye to Melissa and then caught a cab home. She got back to her condo just after midnight, a week before Christmas.

Her condo wasn't decorated since she had no particular interest in Christmas anymore. Carol had called and left a message, asking her to join them for Christmas eve dinner but she didn't call back. Carol was with her family and she should enjoy them. She saw a call from Evelyn and listened to the message. Evelyn wished her a merry Christmas and hoped she was OK. Call if she needed anything. Sure. Call if she needed anything. Was she being sarcastic? Or just cruel? Madison erased the message and fixed herself some hot tea. She needed to sleep. That's what she needed. Damn jet lag.

She went to bed early, not really caring that Christmas was only a few days away. She had sent a present to little Billy in care of his mother. She assumed Junior was not cruel enough to deprive his own son of a new pair of sneakers just because he hated his mother. If he did, he should be ashamed. She hadn't done anything to her grandson. He was too little to understand what she had done. He was just a kid.

The week before Christmas was a week off for Wishes Unlimited. All of the employees and volunteers needed the time with their families, so the doors were closed. Madison got up late the first day of the holiday. She slept in without any guilt. No one was knocking on her door, no one was waiting to deliver presents, there was no tree to gather around and no Christmas candy to make the little ones sick. What there was, was silence. In that silence, she began to make her preparations. She wanted to update her will and have it notarized, she wanted to make disposition of all her possessions and make sure there were no unpaid bills and no outstanding debts. She was going to make sure to leave with as little fanfare as possible.

She finished everything and left that afternoon for her lawyer's office. It was the one Parker recommended during their divorce. She had become friends with Harold, the senior member of the firm and he took care of all of her affairs now. He had been very kind during the divorce and made it as painless as possible. He never gave her the impression that he judged her in any way. She appreciated that more now that everyone else did. When she gave him the new will and a list of her wishes, he looked at her strangely but she simply told him that it was habit to be up to date. He seemed to accept that and took the notes, telling her it would be ready in a week or so. She asked for, and he gave her, a letter of intent to sign, making the changes official so that even if something happened to her, it would be official. She left the office to return home. After she left, Harold Palance thought about what had just happened and finally made a decision. He picked up the phone and made a call.

That chore completed, she drove back to the condo and began to pack her clothes away. She wanted to make sure they went to the charity that Wishes worked closely with. They would make good use of them. She did the same with her jewelry and other personal items not willed to someone. She was very thorough, just as Parker had taught her. He was very particular that way. She had learned and now applied her knowledge as he would expect. She had other, small chores to attend to and she took the rest of the week just to do that. She was in no hurry. She still had two days when she was finished.

Her final act was to write one letter to each of her children, one to George and Carol, and one to Parker. The one to Parker was just a note, short and to the point. As a lawyer, he would appreciate that. No arguments, no pleadings, no attempt at leniency or mercy. Just a simple statement, as she would give as a witness for the opposing council.

"Parker, I'm sorry and I hope you can forgive me one day. All my love, Maddi"

She read it again, sealed it in an envelope with his name on the outside and set it on the desk with the others. Those letters had more explanation and wishes for their futures and their lives, but they were also short. No reason to go into a lot of unnecessary detail. It was simple; she screwed up and they knew it.

The day before Christmas, Carol and George called again to invite her over for dinner with the family. Once again, she refused after thanking them for the invitation. She assured them that she would be home and that they didn't have to worry about her. Carol was insistent that she stay in and not try to go anywhere. She assured them again that she would be home, comfortably dressed and relaxed. They wished her a Merry Christmas and hung up.

As promised, Christmas eve found her sitting in front of her TV, watching a choir of young boys singing hymns. She loved the sound and listened to several as she prepared herself for the end. She thought again about what she was about to do but found no reason not to follow through. As she listened to a beautiful rendition of 'O Holy Night,' her favorite, she went into the medicine cabinet and got the pills. She crushed them into a powder which she put in a glass that she would later fill with wine. It was a good red, a Chardonnay, and a favorite of Parker's. He had introduced her to wines and she found she loved them as he did.

She wanted to dress for the occasion so laid out a beautiful pair of red silk pajamas with a matching red silk jacket. Parker bought the set for her on their twenty-fifth anniversary. She had never worn them, keeping them for a special occasion. This would certainly qualify as special. She was about to take a warm shower before changing when the phone rang. She considered ignoring it but didn't want to chance anyone coming over this evening. She intended for this night to be for the family and she had no desire to ruin the evening for anyone. So, she answered, thinking it was Carol again trying to make sure she was OK.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Long? Is that you?"

That certainly wasn't Carol or any of her family. Madison thought she recognized the voice but wasn't totally sure. "Is this Melissa? Melissa Alison?"

"Yes, it's me. I need you Mrs. Long. I really need you."

"What's happened? Are you all right? What's wrong?"

"They took Lena to the hospital and she's very sick. She might not make it. They left me a note. I wasn't home when they left so I'm by myself. Could you come and stay with me? Please? I'm scared she's going to die and I'll be here alone. Please, Mrs. Long?"

Madison groaned inwardly. This was the wrong time for this. She had given everything she had during the year. She gave all she had, so why couldn't she be left in peace to just die? Why? Did she have to continue to be punished for her mistake? Her only wish was to die in peace and be finished with this pain in her heart. But, Melissa was in trouble and she couldn't let her spend this time alone. Damn!

"I'll be there in twenty minutes. Just stay calm and wait for me. OK Melissa? Can you do that?"

"Yes, oh yes! Thank you so much Mrs. Long. Thank you. Please hurry."

Madison looked around at her preparations. Well, they could wait. What she was going to do didn't need to be rushed. She had time, lots of time. And no one would disturb her on Christmas Eve or Christmas day so tomorrow, or later tonight would be just fine. She left everything as it was, the glass with the powder, the bottle of wine in the ice bucket, her pajamas and jacket, and the letters. She glanced at the letters once more before she went out the door.

Of course it was snowing, she thought in disgust. That would make her trip to Melissa's even more of a problem. She idly thought about the snow and that this would be a white Christmas for a lot of kids, but she really didn't care. It just made her trip longer. She drove the little sports car she still loved to Melissa's house and pulled into the drive. The snow had begun to accumulate but it wasn't a real problem yet. Maybe it would just snow a little, for the kids, and then it could go away like a decent snow. She went to the door and knocked. Melissa was there waiting for her.

Inside, she looked around at the plain house and thought that she had never seen a sadder room. It was simple, done in beige tones and plaids and looked well used, but all the pictures were of the family and the tree in the corner was large and decorated with colored lights. It was full to bursting with ornaments and garland and lights and all the things that made a tree special. Under it were just a few packages, but strangely enough, it didn't seem to be sparse. It seemed to be special. The burn behind her eyes threatened to bring more tears but she blinked them back and turned to Melissa.

"Have you heard anything? Did they call?"

"Yes, Mom called. Lena is very sick but they don't know anything yet. I told her that you were on the way. She was happy about that."

"Well, that's good. Do you want to go to the hospital? See them? I could take you."

"I'd rather go to church. Could we go to your church? I want to pray there. It's your church and you're a good person so it should be a good place to pray. Can we?"

Madison was taken aback. She, a good person? But then, Melissa didn't really know what she had done and now, what she planned. She probably wouldn't think of her as a good person then, would she? Well, she could take her to the church. It wouldn't be a big deal and they could wait for her parents there. Closer to home and closer to what she wanted to do anyway. Well, later was OK. She still had plenty of time. She glanced at her watch to see it was just after 10:00. Plenty of time.

They drove to the church and went in. Christmas Eve was a busy time for the church and there were a lot of people there. They went in, found seats in the rows toward the front and slid in. Madison just watched while the young girl prayed. It was almost an hour later when Madison felt her phone buzz and she rose to move to the side to take the call. It was Melissa's dad. Lena was better and they were bringing her home. Madison told them to go ahead and she would get Melissa back. Relief washed over her as she gathered Melissa for the trip home. Soon now. Very soon.

She dropped Melissa off at her place, politely refused a hot drink and wished her a Merry Christmas before heading home. As Melissa started up the steps to her home, she turned to Madison and just as in San Francisco, spoke to her with a strange look on her face. "Tonight he will grant your wish." Madison was about to ask her what she meant when her father opened the door and rushed down to grab his daughter and send a 'Thank you' to Madison before going inside. Madison watched the door close, shrugged her shoulders, dismissing the words as another misunderstanding and then started back home.

There was still time for her to make it back, get herself ready and end her misery once and for all. She thought of the wine and the powder and the red pajamas. The thought gave her a feeling of peace. It would soon be over. All of the pain, the sadness, the hurt knowing what she had done to Parker. That was probably the worst of it; the pain Parker felt when he discovered her betrayal. He had loved her and she had hurt him deeply. That brought tears whenever she remembered. How could she have hurt someone she loved so badly? Soon. Very soon.

These thoughts were making driving difficult, the tears blurring the lights and making it difficult to see. She had to think of something else. Tonight! Yes. Her plans. She was thinking about taking a nice warm shower when a car pulled out of a side street directly into her path. She saw it coming but too late to swerve. She jammed on the brakes, praying she could stop in time but the car began to slew sideways on the slippery road. She watched helplessly as her car headed directly for a light pole. The sickening jolt as she hit was enough to cause her to temporarily lose consciousness. She was out for only a second and when she looked again, the other car was disappearing off in the distance. She was alone.