Staring at the Sun Ch. 12

Staring At The Sun – Chapter 12, Tuesday

This story is almost at an end and I'd like to thank all of my readers for their patience - I'm sorry for the delay in submitting this chapter.

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The shrill ring of my mobile woke me and I blinked as the bright sunlight streamed through the window. Fumbling with the bed covers I swung my legs out of bed and, almost blinded with the glare, found the phone on the dressing table.

Glancing at the display I saw it was Richard's number and I answered quickly, my voice sounding strained in the silence of the room.

"Where the hell are you, Louise? And what's going on?"

"Well, thank you for your concern darling. I'm fine. How are you?"

"Cut the sarcasm. What's happened? Lisa left a message last night and I couldn't get hold of you. Mike said you'd disappeared."

I laughed. "Did he tell you why? No, of course not. That's not his style, is it?"

I heard my husband sigh. "Just tell me what's happened, Louise. No dramatics, just the truth."

I hesitated. I didn't feel comfortable telling him the reason for my flight from Mike and Lisa's house over the phone. I needed to tell him in person. I'd no idea what his reaction would be and who he would blame.

"I think it's best if I tell you in person..."

"Why? What's so bad that we can't discuss it over the phone?"

"I just want to talk to you properly, not like this, Richard. Can't you understand that?"

Another sigh. "Well, where are you now?"

I looked around the small hotel room. "I'm in a little auberge just outside Millau. It took me a couple of hours to get here last night."

"Where's Millau?"

"I don't know, Richard!" I said irritably. "Does it matter? I just looked at the map and this seemed the easiest way to get back to Cahors. I didn't want to drive all night so I stopped here."

"So what are you going to do today? Go back to the farmhouse?"

"Probably. What else can I do?"

"Well, I'm going to be here until Wednesday afternoon and then we're heading back."

"You and Jake?"

There was a pause. "No, he left early this morning. I'm here with another of his friends. They're going to drive me back."

I sank down onto the bed. "I can't believe we've got ourselves into this mess, Richard. This was supposed to be our holiday."

"I know, I know. But the last few days have been great. I've met some good contacts and Jake's been brilliant. He really wants to help, Louise. Have you thought any more about what we discussed?"

"What did we discuss?"

He sighed. "Come on, Louise. Jake and Jilly will loan us the money, but we'll pay it back eventually. All they want is a stake in the business until the money's repaid."

"Why are they so willing to do this for us, Richard? Have you ever thought of that?"

"Look, I'm not going over old ground again, Louise. It's either that or we lose the house. And your parents will lose theirs too. It's that serious."

A shudder of fear ran through me again and I realised that over the last few days I'd pushed all thoughts of the business to the back of my mind. Another wave of guilt hit me at how close I'd come to throwing away my marriage, although at the moment, our future together was still on shaky ground.

"Are you still there? We've got to make a decision when you get back, Louise. And before we go home."

We carried on talking for a few minutes more, but I could tell that Richard was distracted. After our conversation, I climbed back into bed and closed my eyes. Last night had been an ordeal, the long journey proving difficult on my own. I'd had to try and memorise the map as I drove and the strange roads and gathering darkness made me almost turn back and admit defeat.

As night had fallen, I'd found a small auberge and checked in, dumping my bags before eating alone in their tiny restaurant. But I couldn't stop thinking about Mike, how he'd changed and how he'd manipulated me over the last week. What was his motivation, I wondered? And was Lisa his accomplice? It certainly looked like it now.

Twice she'd called me, but I'd ignored the insistent ringing and turned my mobile off. I didn't want to speak to anyone, least of all Mike and Lisa. Their role in my current despair was complete.

Now, the day stretched ahead of me and I wondered what I would do. I didn't want to stay here another night and incur more expense so I had no option but to return to the Harpers' farmhouse and keep my head low until Richard returned.

Suddenly I felt stupid. What was I doing here all alone? And how would Jake react when I reappeared at the farmhouse this afternoon? I shuddered at the thought of being there by myself and vulnerable to Jake and Jilly's attempts to make me accept their help.

Sighing, I packed my overnight bag, showered and went down to breakfast, the map in my hand. I wanted to take as long as possible to get back to Cahors and wondered if there was a place I could stop en-route to delay my arrival.

Angry with myself for being in this position, I searched the map, but decided that the best thing would be to head back immediately and face Jake. Any attraction I had for him had long gone and perhaps we could have a sensible talk about how I felt about the business. Or had the damage been done already?

*

My mood lifted as I drove. It was another beautiful day and the storm of yesterday had washed the sky clean making it a deep azure blue. How wonderful it would be, I thought, if I could just meander along without a care in the world. I made a promise to myself that if things worked out, we would return to this part of France and have a proper holiday with the children. But that dream seemed a long way off at the moment.

It was late afternoon when I eventually drove through the stone entrance to the Harpers' farmhouse. I'd stopped for a long lunch at a tiny roadside restaurant and lingered over my meal with one of the books I'd brought with me. Despite my worries I'd enjoyed the peaceful surroundings of the garden and the break from the journey had given me time to put my thoughts into order. I was determined not to give in to the Harpers.

The house was silent when I arrived; there were no cars parked in the large gravelled area in front of the house and I wondered if Jake and Jilly were home. Slamming the car door I looked up at the house but the shuttered windows just gazed sleepily back at me, giving nothing away.

I didn't have a key to our room, so I ventured into the cool darkness of the house in search of one of Jilly's team of staff who seemed to exist to cater for their bosses' every whim. A clattering of pots and pans came from the kitchen and I made my way there, hoping I could just get the key and go.

But my hopes were dashed. Jake himself was in the kitchen, a bottle of wine in one hand and a plate of cheese and crackers in the other. He stared at me in surprise and must have seen the look of shock and dismay on my face.

"Louise? I didn't think you'd be back until tomorrow. Richard's still away..."

His voice trailed away and we stared at each other, the tension almost unbearable. "I left yesterday evening." I replied "I thought Mike would have told you."

"No, I've been on the road most of the day. What's happened?"

I looked away and fiddled with the strap of my handbag. "Nothing. I just wanted to come back earlier. I hoped Richard would be here."

Jake put down the wine and plate and came towards me. "You look terrible, Louise. Is everything OK?"

I gazed into his eyes and wished that I could trust him. How wonderful it would be to have him as a good friend in whom I could confide. But there was something about his eyes that made me want to back away.

"Do you have a key to the room, Jake? I need to unpack."

"Of course. But why not have a glass of wine with me first? I was just making myself a snack."

I hesitated. "I don't know. I've been travelling all day."

"Oh, come on, Louise. Just one glass and then you can unpack and lie down for a while. It's so bloody hot today."

Feeling I had no choice, I followed him into the cool living room and sank down on one of the padded armchairs. I suddenly felt exhausted and just wanted to close my eyes and drift away. The silence was absolute and I heard Jake opening the wine and the clink of glasses. I opened my eyes to see him standing in front of me, that strange look back on his face.

"Have this," he said. "It'll make you feel better."

I took the glass from him, our fingers touching slightly, and I jumped. In the gloomy light he appeared bigger and more threatening and I wondered if we were completely alone in the house.

"Uh...are Rob and Diana here?" I stammered, taking a large gulp of wine and feeling more and more nervous by the minute.

"No, they're visiting some friends. They'll be back tomorrow and then they're off home."

He looked at me and I was sure he knew what I was thinking. Like a cat with a mouse, he had me just where he wanted me.

"Why did you take Richard to Toulouse?"

Jake laughed. "Relax, Louise. I had a few contacts there who I thought might help. Richard enjoyed himself and made a couple of friends."

"What contacts?"

Jake shrugged his shoulders. "Businessmen who need the services Richard offers. That sort of thing."

I gazed at him. "This was supposed to be our holiday, Jake. Do you know that? I feel that I've been hoodwinked about the reasons for coming here and I don't like it."

He laughed again. "No ulterior motives, Louise, I promise." He spread out his hands, palms up and smiled at me. "You read too much into things."

"Do I?"

"Look, why don't you have dinner with me tonight? Jilly's still away and the staff have a day off as there's no-one here. I'll take you to a great little place that you'll love."

I couldn't believe I was hearing this. Did he really have such a thick skin? "No, I don't think so. I just want to have an early night."

He stayed silent for a few minutes. "OK, I understand but what about we talk things over tonight? You give me your side of the story? I know you've been worried."

Every part of me screamed out to refuse his offer, but I hesitated. This was what I wanted, surely? A chance to talk to him and get him to see my point of view?

Jake could see the doubt in my eyes and moved forward. His eyes glinted in the darkness and I imagined myself as a fly caught in a spider's web. "How about it? I promise I'll behave. Just a business meeting? Plus, I want to hear all about your visit to Mike and Lisa's house...you haven't mentioned that yet..."

I ignored his probing question and rose to my feet. "My holiday has been ruined, Jake, and I hold you partly responsible for that. But I'll have dinner with you on the understanding that we just talk about business...agreed?"

He took a sip of wine and nodded. "Whatever you want. But don't blame me for the holiday, Louise. Jilly and I have done everything we can to help and it's you who's resisted that. Richard doesn't seem to have a problem." He smiled at me and I felt suddenly as if I'd played straight into his hands.

I gathered my defences one last time. "This goes against all my instincts, Jake, but I feel I have no choice."

He took my hand and whispered in my ear. "You always have a choice, sweetheart. See you later..."

*

Back in the privacy of my room, I unpacked and opened the door to the terrace. I couldn't get over how quiet the farmhouse was and I shivered. Tonight there would just be the two of us in the whole building. The intimacy of this fact made me tremble and my pulse race. I had been stupid to think that there was no attraction between Jake and I. He had the power to mesmerise me, despite my suspicions, and I hated myself for it and how my body betrayed me whenever he was near. Jake knew it too and exploited me to the full.

Was that the reason I dressed carefully for dinner? Choosing a chaste white dress that, although accentuating my tan, covered most of my body? My make-up was light and I twisted my long hair up into a bun. I hoped I looked suitably business-like.

But I still stared at myself in the mirror and felt revulsion at what I was doing. What was wrong with me? I had already escaped from one man and here I was about to enter the lion's den with another. Hadn't I learned my lesson? And Jake was potentially even more dangerous than Mike.

Taking one last look at my face, I grabbed my purse and headed out of the door. Jake's Range Rover stood on the gravel, a big imposing car that shouted money and power. I shivered again and made my way around to the terrace where Jake was waiting for me, a glass of white wine in his hand. His eyes lit up as I approached.

"You look beautiful, Louise. This weather suits you."

I knew well that the tension and stress of the last week was etched into my face and ignored his comment. If he thought he could get around me by flattering my ego he was mistaken.

Accepting a glass of wine from him, he stared into my eyes. "I spoke with Mike this evening. He said you ran away."

I felt myself blush under his gaze and turned away to look at the view. "I didn't run away. I left. Did he tell you why?"

"There was some sort of misunderstanding, he said, and he regrets what happened."

I felt myself start to tremble at the awkwardness of the situation. Jake had the unerring ability to make me feel small. Small and vulnerable.

From feeling I had the upper hand this evening, I suddenly felt my self-confidence melt away. And Jake knew it too.

"Do you want to give me your version of events?"

I shook my head. "I don't want to talk about it, Jake. It was just a misunderstanding, as Mike said, and I want to forget the whole thing."

He shrugged and drained the rest of his wine. "Come on, I'm hungry."

I hastily swallowed my drink and followed him around to the front of the house. The evening sun bathed everything in a warm glow and I noticed how beautiful the building was, the stonework reflecting the soft golden hues back onto our faces. Jake opened the door for me and I breathed in the spicy scent of his aftershave.

"Where is this place?"

He started the engine and glanced at me. "Not far away. It's an old restored mill. Beautifully furnished and has three Michelin stars. I hope you're hungry, too."

I wasn't. My appetite had disappeared and as we drove through the lush, green countryside, I could feel my stomach doing somersaults. How different this would be if we were old friends indulging in an evening out...if Jake was an old and trusted friend who only wanted to help, not exploit.

"You're very quiet, Louise. Tell me what you're thinking."

"How long have you known Richard?"

Jake paused for a while. "Must be twenty five years at least. You know we were at University together?"

I nodded. "What about after University? Did you keep in touch?"

"No, which was a shame. We lost contact and then I met and married Jilly. Started a business and that kept us busy. You know how it is."

I stared out of the window. "How did you meet up again then?"

Jake shrugged. "Friend of a friend I think. Can't really remember."

I looked at him and he smiled. "That meeting in Dover wasn't planned. I know you think it was, but it wasn't."

"You told me that."

"I did. And I have a feeling you still don't believe me, Louise. That you view me with mistrust."

"Can you blame me? I don't know who to trust anymore."

"Mike?"

"I said I didn't want to talk about Mike."

"I'm sorry. Look, we seem to have got the evening off to a bad start. No more talk of business until we get to the main course. How about that?"

I agreed and the conversation turned to our respective children. For all his faults, it was clear that Jake loved his family. I felt myself begin to relax slightly as we chatted, Jake making me laugh with a story of how his children had almost burned the farmhouse down once when they had tried to light the enormous log fire in the living room.

"Ah, I love them, but they're a constant worry."

I smiled and realised we had arrived at our destination. Jake steered his huge car through a narrow set of iron gates which led to an old millhouse, set beautifully against a backdrop of fields and woods.

"This is one of my favourite places. I'm sure you'll love it."

Taking my arm he led me into the tastefully furnished interior, the front of house woman welcoming him as if he were an old friend. Our table looked out over the tumbling stream and the countryside beyond. Jake took his seat and smiled. "Like it?"

I nodded. The restaurant was quiet and elegant, the service discreet and efficient. I settled into my seat and looked out over the view. "I know we said we weren't going to mention the business, but what have you talked about with Richard?"

Jake unfolded his napkin and took the heavy leather-bound menu from the waiter. "We want to help, Louise. Whether it's a cash injection or through contacts."

"What sort of cash injection?"

He shrugged. "I haven't finalised it yet."

"And what happens with the business? Do you take control?"

Another shrug. "It depends."

A feeling of frustration grew within me. Was Jake just humouring me? "Look, this is so important to me. Don't you realise that?"

"Yes, of course and it's important to me, too. Very important."

His gaze was intense and I shuddered. The tension between us was back and I concentrated on the menu, my eyes darting from one extravagantly described dish to another.

"Want me to order for you?"

I shook my head. "No, I'll just have something simple. I had a meal at lunchtime as well."

"That's you, isn't it, Louise? Simple and uncomplicated? Not like Jilly. She's never bloody happy."

I looked up in surprise. He was still perusing the menu, but his face was set and angry all of a sudden.

"Are you and Richard happy?"

His question took me by surprise. "Y-yes, I think so. We have our ups and downs like any couple."

"What about Mike? Where did he fit in?"

I blushed. "What do you mean?"

"You and Mike? There was something going on there, you can't deny it."

"I thought we weren't going to talk about that."

"I know, but sometimes it helps to get things out."

I looked at him and almost laughed out loud. "Since when have you been so understanding, Jake?"

He ignored me. "Does Richard know what happened?"

We stared at each other and I felt my insides turn to water. "No, he doesn't. It meant nothing."

"Really? Then why did you run away?"

"I didn't run away."

He sat back and gazed at me, a sardonic smile hovering over his lips. "Come on, tell me the truth."

"This meal was supposed to be a way of discussing the business, Jake, not a probe into my personal life."

He ignored my statement and leaned forward. "Does Richard know how you feel about Mike? What would he say if he did?"

I felt my heartbeat quicken. "I don't feel anything for Mike at all. And I'm not going to talk about this any more, Jake."

He laughed. "Sorry. I just like seeing you all worked up. You seem so much more passionate somehow. And I know how passionate you can be..."

I was saved from answering by the arrival of the waiter who took our order. My appetite was non-existent and I chose a chicken salad, my choice prompting another sardonic smile from my companion.

"I seem to remember you ordering that back in Amboise when you first met Mike. Only he's not here to save you now is he?"

"Can we just get off this subject? My relationship with Mike has nothing to do with you, Jake. Are you getting off on this?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Getting off? That's a funny expression."

"Excuse me a minute, will you?" I rose to my feet and flung my napkin down on the table. I needed to get away to compose myself and try and retrieve that business-like image I'd tried so hard to cultivate. I had a feeling that Jake was playing a nasty little game with me.