Nobody Rides For Free Ch. 01

"Can we talk Riley?"

"I'll always talk to you Oz."

It was a warm summer evening, and late as it was, the nights hadn't been too cold as of yet. We were out in the yard, and I grabbed her hand, holding it so she knew I still loved her...or at least, wanted to touch her.

"Riley...I know that my...issues have been...difficult for you. We've tried and tried, and the doctor won't allow me to use the little blue pill..."

"Austin...it's all right. I love you. We don't have to have sex. That's not why I love you. I love you for you."

"Yes...that's true...but sex was an important part of our married life before...and suddenly it was taken away from us. I know it's my fault, and I know that it's killing you. Not having an outlet..."

"I can garden...or maybe we can get a dog."

When she said 'dog' our talk went quiet. I was reminded of Dog...what Riley was thinking I didn't know...but I would have bet that she was thinking of him too.

"Riley...I love you, but for whatever reason, I can't help you as a good husband should be able to. Just my luck that the doctor won't allow me what little help there is out there for guys like me too."

"Don't. Don't do this Austin. I love you, no matter what. In sickness and in health...remember?"

"It's driving us apart though. Can't you see? We're now in separate bedrooms...we're not sleeping together...at all. It's showing up elsewhere too. The tensions...the anger...I'm afraid I'm going to lose you if this keeps up. We need to do something...anything...to fix this. I don't want to lose you Riley. I love you so much...I...well...I..."

"What Austin? You what?"

"I was thinking...you are so beautiful...I mean...truly you are...hot...sexy...you could have any guy you wanted..."

"I have the guy I want...YOU. I don't want anyone else Austin. Just you."

"But...I can't do...it...for you. You need...it. I think that you need to find someone you can...that can...help you...not for love...just for the sex."

"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? I won't go to a male prostitute. Another man? I can't do that. I'm your wife. I'M YOUR WIFE AUSTIN!"

"I know...but...it's not like you'd love them or anything. Surely we could find someone who could...do it for you...and then you'd have some release...less pressure on me...I hate that I can't do it for you...but you need it. You need it, and if you don't get it I'm afraid you'll end up leaving me. We'll end up hating each other...it's already starting to go that way now. PLEASE...Riley...at least think about it. I...love...you...and I can't stand the thought of losing you all because I can't...perform."

She turned and walked away...tears flowing. It had been hard for me to go this far...how hard would it be for me to allow her the freedom to be sexually satisfied...without me? Could I even do that much? Could I see her off into the arms of another man...could we survive that? I didn't know, but I did know that if things kept up the way they had been going, we'd be divorced within a year.

I had hurt her badly now...but I still felt it was the only way out of our situation. Somehow...at least until I could, if I could ever again, do it for her...she needed that relief. Otherwise I feared our marriage was doomed.

That day was a turning point in our lives together. Riley wouldn't talk to me at all for the rest of the day, avoiding me completely. For my part, I was miserable, hating that I had even brought it up like I had. I just didn't know what else to do.

I spent the day, for the first time since the fight working on my ride. Frustrated as I was, it actually helped to calm me down and let me think through things. I knew I was on to something with finding someone else for Riley to fuck. Not make love with...just plain fuck. That's what she needed, and that was exactly what I couldn't give her...at the moment anyway.

I was about done with my bike. I noticed that someone had finished mounting my oil tank...and they had done a splendid job of it too. Working into the night I finished it all up around midnight. Going to bed, I stopped by the guest bedroom only to find it empty. I didn't know where Riley had gone off to...and I was uneasy not knowing.

I showered, then went into our...now my...bedroom. Crawling into bed I was about asleep when I heard something...or someone come into the room. The bed moved down as someone's weight pressed it down, and the covers over my body began to slide off.

Opening my eyes I saw, in the faint light, Riley over the top of me. Naked, her body almost glowed in the twilight. Her breasts were highlighted in the moonlight, and I could see that her nipples were hard. She bent down and started to suck me, licking and doing everything she knew how to do.

My erection was no surprise. This had been done before. I had no expectations of this going beyond where it had ended so many times before lately. I still wanted to try. One more time for her. One more time...for me too.

Soon I was erect, and Riley wasted no time in climbing on and actually got me inside her tight and very wet pussy before I started to fade. Crying out in frustration, she pulled off, and went down on me again, getting me hard once more. Once more she climbed up on me and jammed me inside her pussy.

Once more...I went soft. Laying on my chest she started crying. Weeping actually, and it broke my heart. I knew that she loved me with all her heart. I knew that I was her man. I knew that she would do anything for me. I also knew that in this one thing...in this one thing I couldn't do anything to help her. Except the unthinkable.

Holding her to me tightly, I caressed hair, kissing her tears away. We fell asleep like that, and it was quite some time before she rolled off me to cuddle in close to me as she could. In the morning we talked. It was a gut wrenching and very heart to heart talk. It was a talk that no married couple should ever have to go through, though I imagine that many have.

"Riley...It's not you. It's me. I can orally please you...you can orally please me...but when it comes down to doing it...to actually sticking my cock in you...I fail. I don't know why, and I don't understand it. I just know that for the time being at least...I can't help you that way. Even though I'd give anything to do so."

"I know. I know that you love me Austin...and I know that this is as frustrating for you as it is for me...maybe even more so...I need you...and I can't have you in that way. It is killing me. I have refused to admit it...I have tried to think of other things, hobbies, anything I can to not desire you that way, and it just doesn't work. I don't know what to do. You may be better off without..."

"NO...DON'T SAY THAT...I will never be better off without you. You are everything to me Riley...everything. Without you I'm nothing. Absolutely nothing. I need you and I love you...Oh GOD...DAMN...I wish...I just wish I could get better..."

"What do we do then Austin? Maybe I can get some dildos...or something like them...maybe..."

"You need what I can't give you. You need real hot and live cock. It kills me to think it...I really have thought this out though Riley...we need to find you someone who can...fill in...for me...until I get better. Someone we can trust to not blab it around...someone who won't try to steal you away from me...someone who..."

"STOP. STOP IT. I can't take it. I hate that we're in this position to begin with...but you sitting there telling me that we need another person...just because you can't...can't..."

"Riley..."

I was talking softly now...she was crying hard, and upset. I could see all kinds of emotions on her face as she sat there.

"Riley...I could be this way...forever. What then? We both want kids...we both want to enjoy each other...if this turns out to be permanent...what then?"

"Don't think that...never. This is only temporary. You will get better. I know it."

"So...in the mean time...we need to find some kind of relief for you...actually, me too...since this is killing both of us at the moment. Otherwise...I'm afraid we'll end up in divorce court all too soon. I don't want that Riley...I want to be able to take care of you, and be with you...in all ways. But to do that we have to work out how to get around this...bump in the road."

"I...don't know if I can...if I could be with another man like that Austin. I just don't think that I can."

"If the circumstances were right...I'll bet you could. You need something I can't give you...if you look at it as just filling a desire...of the body instead of the heart...a temporary thing only...maybe those thoughts and perhaps some alcohol...you might be able to...loosen up enough to...get...some...relief."

I couldn't believe we were sitting here talking about getting Riley another man to fill in for me in bed. It was surreal. Right out of some men's magazine column or something. It was the hardest thing for me to talk about...ever. I also knew that if we didn't...

"Can we just...let it go for now...and think about it Austin? I need time to figure out...what it is I want...and what I'm willing to do. This could be the end of us. What if you think about me in another man's arms...and you decide that you hate me? What then?"

"This is my idea Riley. I'll admit that it scares me. My thoughts have been what if you find someone else that fills in for me better than I have...ever? What if you decide to leave me for them? You see...this is a hard thing for both of us. I also know that if we don't do something...soon...we won't make it very much longer."

"But what about you Austin? How will this help you? I can't be a part of something that cuts your heart out, maybe destroying your love for me...I just can't. I love you too much to let that happen."

"Yeah...but if we don't do something that little part that I'm not able to fulfill will lead us to a divorce. You need sex. You always have been a sexual being. I can't do that for you for now...and I'm hoping that this is temporary at the moment too. I'm just afraid that if we don't get you some relief...well...you know."

"There's always dildo's and oral sex."

"Baby...you've always been responsive to them...but it's also always taken me in you...there's something about me being inside you that does it for you. Maybe not just me...more like a hot...live...cock. You need that male...thing."

"Then...who?"

"That's just it...I don't know."

"I'm going to need time Austin. This is a very serious and big step between us...I'm not so sure it's a good idea at all yet either. I am willing to try dildo's and other...means."

"Well...at the rate we've been going...you may not have much time left dear. You have to agree with me there. We've been on the edge of a separation for some time now. We also both know that it will have to be a real person inside you in order for you to get off too. So far we have managed to stick together because of our love. I can't let this go on anymore."

"I know. It's just...Oh baby...I love you so much...so very much...I don't want to hurt you...I don't want to even take a chance on hurting you in any way. Not now...especially not now."

We held each other for a long time. Later we fell asleep, side by side, in spoon style. She was behind me, cuddled in close, and I had an arm over her, out of position for me, but I felt it was necessary. The next week was one that wore us down even more. We continued to talk about 'the thing' and we continued to air our doubts and fears to each other. It was more than we had done in the months previously.

We were back together in our bedroom too. Riley never tired to get me interested anymore...and I was very sure to hug, caress, touch and kiss her as often as I could. I tried to show her in a thousand different ways that I loved her, and how much I loved her...daily. Still, it was hard.

That weekend, Dog showed back up. He looked a bit...well...haunted. He pulled up on his ride and after shutting it down, he sat there, looking at us. Riley and I were in the garage, washing my bike. I had just gotten back from a nice ride, and while it had been fun, not having Riley on it with me had taken some of the fun out of it.

Riley wouldn't ride with me due to the effect the ride would have on her. She wanted to...I could see it in her eyes, but she didn't want to get worked up and me not being able to provide what she needed. In order to keep us loving and together, she had decided to forgo rides until such a time as I could fill in on the end of the ride for her.

"Hey Dog...It's been a while Where have you been anyway?"

"Around. Had some business to attend to. How you doing? Looking better...almost like you used to look. Missing something though..."

"Hey...I never got a chance to thank you man."

"No problem. It was nothing. You're my friend and I stick by my friends."

Riley came out from behind me with a shy smile.

"Hey Dog. How you been?"

"Good Riley. How about yourself?"

"Okay. We've missed you around."

He didn't say a word, just sat there, looking at us. Well, mostly at Riley. It hit me at that moment. I had never seen it before...but at that moment I could see it plain as day. He was in love with Riley. Dog loved my wife. He had stopped by more to see her than me. Surprised, I didn't know what to say or how to even approach the subject.

"How's the ride doing Oz?"

"Got 'er done. Runs smooth as silk...and has lots of power."

"Looks hot too. Ever enter it in that show?"

"Nah...missed that one...plan on catching the next one though."

Riley was staring at him as we talked, and suddenly I knew what she was thinking. I was doubly worried now. If Dog was the man she decided on having to fill 'that' need, how would I handle it? Could I handle it? Would Dog try to steal her away from me?

It was obvious to me that he was in love with Riley...could I dare let them get together...like that? I was scared now. I could just end up losing all I loved in life. Yet...the way things were going it was likely to happen sooner or later.

I decided then and there that I would talk to Riley about Dog that night. Before anything happened between them. There was an electricity between them that about lit up the world. I had noticed it before, but not in the light of things as they were. I had to be sure that we had an understanding between us before they...if they ever did...get together.

Dog hung around for a bit, even running to the store...by himself...for some beer. Riley glanced at me when I suggested we needed some and then she disappeared into the house until Dog had left. I knew it was because she didn't trust herself to ride along with him. Their flirting had been hot and heavy before, now it would more than likely lead them somewhere entirely different.

"He's in love with you...you know."

Startled, Riley stared at me unbelievingly.

"W-what?"

"He's in love with you. If you wanted, you could run off with him and leave me high and dry...and he'd take you wherever you wanted to go. Forever. He's in love with you."

"I love you though. You're my husband. I couldn't run out on you Austin."

"If I can't get better, you will eventually. A woman needs a man...in all ways. Not just as a buddy or helper. I can do all sorts of things for you but what I need to do as a husband...Dog on the other hand can probably do it all...and he's in love with you. Matter of fact, I think you may have some feelings for him too."

"Don't say that. I love you Austin, and you are the only man I will ever love. Dog is a friend, and he's...well, he is quite handsome...in his own way. I will admit I have had some thoughts about how he'd be...but I'd never act on them. Besides, he won't try anything because of you."

"What if I suggested it? What if I asked him to take care of you like I can't? Do you think you could be with him...that way...fucking him...and not decide to leave me for him? Would you still love and respect me? He is probably the only man I can think of that could do this for us...and not blab it all around town."

Riley looked at me open-mouthed. She knew what I meant, and that I was serious too. I could see her thinking hard about it and suddenly I knew. I knew that they would be together...at least one time anyway. I could see it by the look on her face. She was thinking about doing it with Dog.

"I...don't know Austin. I just don't know. If he does love me as you say, maybe he won't do it unless he can have all of me...you know what I mean?"

"That's what's been worrying me. Look, I know you're attracted to him, and he's definitely attracted to you. I'm sure that you two having sex is a forgone conclusion. I'm just worried about where I'll stand in your heart afterwards. I'm scared honey. I'm really scared. And there's not a damned thing I can do about it either."

Riley hugged me tight...I could tell she was upset as I was. This was happening all so fast. It seemed like ages ago we had talked it out...now...with it staring me in the face it seemed like we had moved at light speed.

"I'm going to take a ride on my bike. When Dog gets back you and him have a talk. Lay it on the line...be honest about it...and...when I get back we can all talk...if he wants to. I...just can't be here right now. I need to think."

Riley looked me in the eyes and nodded. Sadly, she turned and went inside the house. I couldn't tell what she was feeling or thinking at that moment. I didn't even know what she would do when Dog got back. I just knew that I needed to go for a ride and think.

I rode around for about a half-hour then headed home. Once there Dog was sitting in our living room with a shell shocked look on his face.

"Oh man...I didn't know. How long have you known that...how I felt about...Riley?"

"Just today I saw it Dog. There had been hints, but I had brushed them off in my mind. Today I first saw that in your eyes when Riley stepped out beside me."

"I'm sorry man. That's why I left you know."

"What?"

"When you first were in the hospital...they didn't think you were going to make it. At one point I took Riley home so she could shower up and stuff...while we were here...I...told her how I felt. That I loved her and if something happened and you didn't make it...I'd be here for her. She didn't understand what I meant...until today. She told me that. Then she told me...about...your...um...problem."

"And...so?"

"I don't know man. Knowing how I feel about her and all...what if...what if she falls for me? What then? You're my friend man. A guy doesn't do that to friends. She's your lady...I'm...I..."

"You're my friend...Look Dog...I love you like a brother. Yes...you make me nervous at times when your biker attitude comes out...but for the most part you've been my closest friend. I'd say, especially now since the deal with...Charlie."

"That rat bastard...I hope he rots in hell. I wanted to kill him...but those damned cops pulled me off. Should have let me finish the job. It would have saved the state some money."

"Yeah...but...you could have ended up in jail...or worse too."

There was an awkward silence between us. Of course, how would you react if a buddies wife, that you secretly were in love with, asked you or told you about something like what was happening between Riley and I? Would you feel comfortable knowing that she had asked you to fill a need that her husband, your friend suddenly couldn't?

"Uh...man...I'm not sure about this. I mean...if I could I would have taken her away before this. There's so much at stake here for both of us...I don't know what to do."

"Look Dog...it's like this...and I'm only guessing that Riley soft sold you on this and didn't tell you some of the hard reasons we're asking you to do this. I can't...fulfill my husband duties. If we don't do something and soon, we could end up divorced. Neither of us wants that to happen. Yet...I can't...I just can't do it right now. It could be a forever thing...or it could go away tomorrow. Until we know for sure...well...I love Riley to much to see her suffer anymore. I also only can trust you Dog...you wouldn't tattle around about this...to anyone...and I trust you to not...steal her away from me too."