- Reviews & Essays
- Incest: Debunking the Myths
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereThere is a lot of information on the Internet regarding the sexual activity known simply as 'incest', yet most of the research into the subject focuses entirely on cases of child abuse or rape, with almost nothing out there about incest between consenting adults. This kind of coverage via media and official sources supports the most popular incest myths that have been generated over the past few decades.
What I will attempt to do in this essay, is to demonstrate how generalizations and consistently biased media information have misrepresented the incest community at large. Mythology of this nature is inherently destructive to society as it ensures that ignorance and fear triumph over understanding and acceptance. In the long haul, this means that an entire group are persecuted on the basis that a few of them are harming innocent people.
Myth 1: Incest always leads to congenital abnormalities in the baby.
It is a scientifically proven genetic fact that any children born to related parents have a higher chance of having a congenital abnormality than those born to non-related parents. The risk for cousins is roughly double, but there is little or no information out there about the risks of defects in children born to parents more closely related than first cousins. Scientifically speaking the risk increases with consanguinity due to the fact that the likelihood of detrimental homozygous recessive alleles being present in the genetic code is greater for the more closely related couples.
However, having said all that, this myth assumes two things:
1. It is assumed that the couples are planning to have a child. Is it not more logical that incestuous couples are more likely to use protection BECAUSE of the increased risks to the child should pregnancy occur? Of course it would be utterly ridiculous to assume that all couples would behave in a responsible manner, but overall logic dictates that such couples would be more careful that the average non-related couple.
2. The myth also assumes that should such a child be born to closely related parents, that it will ALWAYS end up horribly deformed. To the average person, images of two headed freaks are a common scary thought. In reality, some children are lucky enough to turn out okay; some have mild problems, while others do have serious disabilities as a result of detrimental recessive alleles.
The risk of defects is indeed the original basis for the incest taboo; historically it has served us well as a means of ensuring the continued health of the genetic pool. In the modern era where reliable contraceptive devices and agents are easily obtainable, and if all else fails abortions (I know this is another area of moral debate) are also available, this point can be contested.
Of course, the issue of inbreeding is a topic in its own right, and there is far more to it than just this little I have raised here. Therefore I will leave further discussion for another essay where it can have the time and due attention it deserves as a practical and moral debate.
Myth Two: Incest is child abuse
This myth is a far more recent myth than the one I discussed above, mostly because it is a myth that has been generated by frenzied media hype whenever a sexual predator has been found to be sexually abusing his/her prepubescent relatives. Child abuse is a heinous crime, one that quite rightly receives severe punishment as a felony. Yet with the absence of any other data, many people make the mistake of generalizing, and never stop to consider the fact that incest and pedophilia are indeed two completely separate things which can sometimes yet seldom overlap. Let me guide you through those definitions:
1. Incest - This is when two people that are too closely related to marry lawfully, have sex. Now the definition does not specify that one of the participants has to be a child, it does not even mention children. Compare with the first myth which assumes that both persons must at the very least be of reproductive age, and you have your answer to the validity of myths in general.
2. Childhood sexual abuse – This is when an adult sexually abuses a child for his or her own gratification. Such a predator is called a pedophile, and pedophiles sometimes use their own offspring as they are more readily available than finding somebody else's kids to abuse. For the pedophile, the incest is a secondary issue to the pedophilia. Note that the pedophile and the victim do not have to be related.
I would be willing at this point to speculate that this myth has arose for the media hype reason I stated above, and as a counter-effect to the dawn of contraceptives. With drugs like the pill, and reliable condoms, it is pretty easy to avoid unwanted pregnancies. People fear incest because they do not understand it, it is easier for them to lump it in with child abuse and call them the same thing than it is for them to get their heads around a completely alien concept.
Myth 3: Only dirty old men are interested in incest
This myth is clearly both sexist and ageist. Merely by stating that males only would take an interest in incest it has discredited itself, why would only one gender be interested and not the other?
Let's discuss the term 'dirty old man' for a moment and see what we come up with. The first image that comes to mind when somebody uses these words is a man aged 50-60 who wears and anorak and has sexual desires far outside of what would be deemed typical. While I'm sure there must be some men globally who fit this description, doesn't it seem a little strange that people would claim that ONLY this select group of men would be interested in incest? Think about other sexual preferences... what sort of people would be interested in BDSM, Clothes fetishes, Role Play, Wife Swapping Parties? See where I'm going with this, you CAN'T put a description to these people because they are so diverse. Therefore it stands to reason that we also cannot, and should not put a stereotype to the sort of person likely to be into incest.
Perhaps this myth has it's origins in a more sexually repressed era, when women were subservient to men, back in the times when it was 'not decent' for a woman to express sexual desire. In times gone by, it was up to the man to do all the chasing and for the woman to accept or decline his advances. This being the case, it would have logically followed that only men could be interested in incest. Where the 'old' bit came from I can only speculate that it came from the notion that older guys prefer younger women. Of course, even within a sexually repressed society, it should have been obvious that this myth had no real basis in logic.
Myth 4: There is no such thing as consensual incest
This is a blanket statement, and like all of the other myths in this essay, it is based upon ignorance, prejudice and fear. It would at this time be worth noting that just because something is hidden does not mean that it does not exist. Just like we have never found another planet capable of supporting humanoid life, doesn't mean that one does not exist. Always remember that you cannot prove a negative, only a positive.
All people see in the media is cases of rape, abuse, deformed babies and the like, basically anything that would lend support to the current negative stereotypes of the incestuous. People with positive experiences almost never have their voice heard. In the real world, what would a happy incestuous couple have from announcing their love to the world? Such brave souls would open themselves up to persecution, even arrest and imprisonment, to 'come out' would be nothing short of a disaster. So they remain hidden, merely to protect themselves. Of course this issue is yet another for an essay of its own.
Myth 5: Only fat and ugly people end up doing incest
My best guess is that this myth arose from the notion that ugly people are less likely to get dates than an attractive person, and therefore ends up sexually frustrated and even desperate. Yet at the same time, what is ugly? Somebody can look attractive to some people and hideous to others, so again this is a very subjective thing. It is also not true that fat people don't get dates, or that fat people are always ugly, again this comes from societal perception that being fat is somehow a sign of being a failure as a person. Of course, body mass has nothing to do with incest, at all.
This is again an attempt to pigeonhole people, attempting to describe a group of people that is too diverse to ever have a description that is not a stereotype. The above myth attempts once more to stereotype the incestuous people by associating them with negative stereotypes that are in themselves subjective. As you can see, this is offensive to everybody, and serves no purpose whatsoever.
Myth 6: Only stupid people end up doing incest.
I have yet to see a study stating that people who practice incest have an overall lower IQ than people who do not. I'm fairly certain that no such study exists, partly because there is more or less nothing out there that isn't a study of childhood sexual abuse or of the pedophiles themselves, and also because of the taboo nature of incest, many psychologists just won't touch the subject from a non conventional angle.
The sheer stupidity of this comment is staggering, as there is no evidence stating that people of a certain IQ range have tendencies to any particular sexual preference or orientation. If there is no correlation between IQ and incidences of OTHER sexual practices, it is safe to say that there is no correlation between IQ and incest.
Of course, many would be inclined to ask why any intelligent person would choose an incestuous lifestyle when it is so risky. On the same token I could ask what ones feelings have to do with one's IQ. Sometimes feelings can take time to work through, especially those that push you to go against everything conventional wisdom dictate. This is certainly the case for a person interested in a family member, because people just aren't as simple and predictable as we would like them to be, and for some people that in itself is scary.
------------------------------------------
As you can see from the above myths, some of them lump together to paint a picture, some contradict each other, and some are second generation myths dependant on already existing stereotypes. None of the above have any basis in reality, and yet these are the perceptions floating around mainstream society, uncorrected. It is easy to hate, but it is never easy to stop, to think, and to analyze your views. When you have no basis for comparison, and no personal reason for challenging societal notions, it makes sense to go along with the societal view, even if that view has no basis in reality.
The burden of proof that incest can sometimes be beneficial, or at the very least harmless is now up to those who have experienced it firsthand, and those curious souls who are willing conduct studies of consensual incest. This essay exists to open minds and hearts; it exists to make people stop and think, it is a gift from me to any person who has had a positive incest experience, who knows that my words are true.
Thank you for reading my essay,
1337_G1RL
- COMMENTS
Anonymous4 months agoThe following are actually directed to the previous article that she wrote relating to Realistic Incest.... But is is applicable here too... Wow.. is what I can say - Cause you have done a great job of describing all the primary phases, feelings, and actions which in fact occur, in most of these situations. Obviously Each one is slightly, uniquely different. But the phases Are legit. You are obviously one of the relatively few who have actually experienced/shared this with a close loved one. Due to adoption at early ages, my sister and I were separated. She at 2 months, I was 15 months (only 13 months difference). We 'found' each other at the ages of 16 and 17, with the help of a relative. We Immediately developed an extremely close relationship - catching up on lost years. We were very close in all respects. Including sexual 'tension' throughout the years - but neither of us at the time would 'allow' that to come to pass - at the time. We did not want to risk stepping into that arena not knowing if it would damage/destroy what we had and so valued. But, it was always there. I was most scared, she was of course too - but she was much more open, becoming more so as time when along - until one beautiful spring day she said 'can we talk'. So on the steps of our front porch we sat down. I had No idea about what the upcoming discussion was to be about ...we had many, Many brother/sister 'talks' throughout the years about Anything and Everything in life, in our shared experiences, etc. I thought it was another one of these - which we always enjoyed having. We were close. That was 50 years ago - in our early 20's! I still Remember it as if it was yesterday. She had thought about this 'discussion' for many years. She Knew what she was going to say, and she had a good idea of how. However, knowing, planning, and Saying it was a trip! For her, for me! She started off 'you won't be mad, you will hear me out Before you say anything?" "Remember 'we' have always been able to talk about anything, right?" ...'Yes, and Yes'.. my initial response. Through the years we BOTH had known there was this special tension/potential 'bond' we had Always 'danced' around. ...I listened. Somehow I was not surprised, not shocked. I was only surprised that she/we were finally bringing it out into the open, placing 'the subject' on the table for us both to deal with, to 'give Consideration' to. And it did not surprise me that She had the balls to be the brave one, to say, to Suggest the obvious which had been brewing from the start. We had, were passing through ALL 'the stages' You referenced! Right on target, which only one who had been there, shared this, would know so well. We actually had an easy, frank, 'yes, I felt that too, always knew that too, was just under the surface for Us'. We both felt the same about what we 'might' be about ready to actually Do. We knew that there were risks, most importantly about how it might effect our near term and long term future relationship, and of course the need to Always keep it a Secret that only we could/would share forever ...but mostly we did not want to damage what we already had. We had always been on the same page about everything (Truly almost as if we had been Raised Together, only closer). Once we shared This in the open, we felt it would only bring us even closer. Btw - we both were each already in a marriage with others. ...My wife had Always been jealous of Us, the bond we had - she didn't ever know how close a bond, Her husband was Never jealous, although he too saw the special bond. He was a great guy, but he was not much of a communicator - so "I" helped take part of that pressure off of him because he knew that my sister could rely upon having me to 'go to' for 'discussions' of life, including about their own relationship. ..back to the history/story. After probably at least a couple hours of discussion, probably more, we ended our mutual sharing, our thoughts, our deep considerations that we each had to process. "we Need to give each other 24 hours, over night to each of us fully Think about This Step"... and we did. The next morning after my BIL left for work - he worked at job 40 miles away, so he would not be coming back and surprising us, we met up finally in their bedroom, large king sized bed. She was laying in the bed naked as a jaybird, I came from upstairs in my underwear boxer shorts. She took one look at me, and I quote, "Take Those OFF!" I had been visiting/living with them during the previous month while I was home from college, and separated from my wife due to marital problems. Sooo, I guess we were now at stage 3 1/2 - 4 at that point. With no regrets. Things progressed from there... You/We have both driven 'that road'. The stages are as they are. If you have not actually Been that road yourself then you have no real basis to criticize the descriptions/stages/or actual feelings/experiences. I enjoyed very much your narrative of typical realities. Thank you.. Shared love...
LvsGirlsWhoLoveGirls7 months agoA thoughtful essay. More people should read this--including a lot of folks here on Lit. who engage in "fetishes" much more bizarre and/or distasteful (to most people) than incest, yet are repulsed by the very word--precisely because of the ingrained biases mentioned in this essay.
Anonymousover 2 years agoSome people might be surprised at just how many 'taboo' relationships can be positive & beneficial.
|~|
Morality on the whole is an illusion, defined by the loudest group of people; their loudness makes them also seem like the largest, but this is blatantly untrue. Look at history, & you can see how morality ebbs & flows, changing over time.
|~|
I have seen incestuous relationships work without any unexpected problems. Sure problems are there, but they are the same problems you would find in ANY relationship. None were specific to incestuous relationships.
|~|
In fact, incest is far more common than people think. I can't tell you how many siblings use each other to learn about their bodies. But I've seen that it's a lot.
Hot_Potatoover 6 years agoMany people are irritated that there is not more analytical proof. At this time in history the taboo of incest probably disrupts the process of collecting good analytical proof. As society becomes more open to incest, similar to the acceptance of lesbians and gays today, then better information can be collected. You have certainly done a good job of critical thinking. And there is a large chance that your thoughts are very close to correct. Unrelated to your essay but certainly within the incest topic. I had sex in every way possible with my cousin in college. We both liked liked it at that point in time. And we both went on to lead nice lives. And we both still talk nicely with each other at family gatherings. No sex for 25 years now and we don't talk about the past, but it is obvious that she has good memories about it like myself.
Anonymousover 7 years ago... some of the best sex I ever had was with a first cousin. Neither of us thought anything of it since we had never been exposed to the incest taboo. We were young and just lucky not to have a pregnancy occur. I bet a lot more of this goes on than anyone will admit. I am one of the few who can be open about it. Let us face it, the incest taboo is not natural.
GooseGasmalmost 8 years agoGreat presentation! If more people were willing to open their eyes this article could be quite a powerful political statement, as it is though, people are completely shut off. I only hope that in time we mature as a society. Thankyou for spreading such a positive message.
Anonymousalmost 10 years agomy mom and I drank some alcohol years ago and ended up fucking our brains out the whole night long. It happened only one night but it felt damn good and I got to go back from whence I came. lol..
Anonymousover 11 years agoAlmost all gentic deformities occur to parents that are not directly related. The evidence for deformity caused by incest is sketchy at best and usually deals with people in situations were there was very little in the way of prenatal care for the baby. Fact spina bifida is caused by a lack of folic acid in the diet. Various forms of retardation and deformity are caused more often then not by poor diet during pregnancy and eviormental toxins like but not limited to methal mercury in fish, live stock and produce grown in contaminated soil.
The reality is we do not no the extent of incetous babies being produced in this country or even in the world. The odds are that most such pregnancies are hidden from the world. So without data we can make no real anaylisis. It is significant to note that in many countries incest between consentng adults is not illegal. Japan being but one example were they have found no evidence that pregnancies caused by incest produced deformed children at a greater rate than none related parents. Besides when they talk about risks for one thing and another it is in terms of one hundred thousands births . So while having a baby over forty means a higher risk of down syndrome it does not mean that every baby born to a woman over forty will have down syndrome just that a certain percentage out of one hundred thousand births might.
Anonymousover 12 years agoMy sister & I have had a relationship spanning 40 years and are still living together as husband and wife, both of us are divorced & have children wih our exes and my sister had her tubes tied after her 2nd. child was born so we had no fear of pregnancy when we decided to live together.
Anonymousover 13 years agopeople are alwyas making random guess that they thought to be true and close to reality,but it turns out the way around.
Convention once formed is hard to destroy, an elephant used to being tied to a tree by an iron chain would not break away from a straw rope that he could easily break.
Anonymousover 14 years agoI appreciate the frankness and the candour with which the author has debunked the myths surrounding a sexual relationship amongst close family...considered a taboo, but is existent in the society.
Loving another person, being from the same blood, is no sin.
TM
Anonymousalmost 15 years agoI applaud the candor and seriousness with which you approach the topic of incest in both its aspects of being something that apparently fascinates a broad audience, and one that has distinct implications upon actualy practicing it.
The premise is that sexual contacts within a certain range of co-sanguinity is labeled and stigmatized as incest, but there are many places in this world where if these same rules are applied, entire populations would fall under the category of routine incestuous mating and sexually reproducing.
Places that through the ages have been so remote and cut off from the main population of humanity and that carry populations that probably started out with a very small initial colonization. Sometimes even only by a single family-group. Iceland comes to mind in that respect. It is well known and documented that Icelandic people are so closely related to each other that each and every one has a co-sanguinity that is often closer than that in some within a family that exists in the main human population.
I would certainly hesitate to state that Icelanders seem to be affected by genetic defects in significantly higher numbers that in the world at large.
This also applies to the many other small-population outposts of humanity in Polynesia, Micronesia and even some mainland based communities in Siberia, not to mention sectarian comunities that do not entertain sexual relations outside their own specific community.
It may be that nature has run its course in those places and over time eliminated the recessive traits from the gene-pool, but that also immediately eliminates the argument of hard-wired or inate reasons for the incest taboo.
Personally, I think that as with each and every societal sanction, the incest-taboo is one that is imposed on our societies and and its individual members in context of controling and chanelling the behavior of the individual members into the desired model for our societies.
That being for the most part, the committed relationship within a marriage which in and of itself has more to do with organization of property, control and power.
Form that flow aspects of controling property and power that are formalized in laws, regulations and rules.
Often these have little to do with sexual attraction between close relatives, other than repressing these so that the societal status-quo is not jeopardized.
The goal in that respect is that everyone will continue to trudge along in the traditionally prescribed and easily controlled fashion.
From personal experience, I can say that the incest taboo did certainly not inhibit my sexual attraction towards very close relatives and the mutuality of such by those same very close relatives. I cannot say that the initiation into contacts of a sexual nature between us was specifically mine. It just happened and certainly at the early stages of adolescence, where the lines between natural curiosity, affection and sexual attraction are so blurred that they may lead to pretty far-going experimentation that can and sometimes does extend into adulthood.
It did and does in my case and where it concerns me, without personally felt stigmatization, other than my own realization of a chosen deviation from the surrounding moral code and to certain extent the laws.
In short, going by my own experience, I fail to find within myself, as well as in my sexual partners over the years with whom I have had indepth conversations on this topic, any indication of a natural abhorrence towards entertaining sexual relations that are seen as consentional incest.
These relations are surely different than those that are seen as so-called 'normal' ones, but they are not by any measure more dysfunctional than many of the 'normal' ones that I see in our society at large.
Stronger still, I see much more dysfunction and relational failure outside of what I consider my own circle of partners that I happen to have a harmonious relationship with, which has strengthened me in my inclination not to engage into relationships outside my those with close relatives.
Maybe that is an abnormality in and of itself, but I certainly do not see it as a particularly vexing one. Besides that, it has definitely been one that has led to far less personal complications than the ones that I regularly see around me. Another aspect is that it has effectively eliminated possible exposure to STDs since my partners are of a likewise persuation and we see our relationship as being as exclusive and secure enough to keep it that way.
Do I actively propagate our chosen behavior in that sense? No of course not, because it makes absolutely no sense for any of the involved and frankly speaking, it is no one else's business.
I have long ago made my decision to abstain in the reproductive sense, because I firmly believe that I have many other qualities and ways to contribute to my society without necessarily having own offspring and I have taken measures to ascertain that.
On the other hand, eliminating the reproductive hazards has had a profoundly positive impact on the experienced intimacy with my partners who are likewise inclined.
To each its own.
Emerald
Anonymousover 15 years agoThe article itself is not funny. What i find funny is some of the responses against it. They kick the article over "scientific merit" and "is it really an essay?" as well as "you didn't debunk any myths!".
Well, I would suggest that the writer alter the title to ,"questioning the image of incest". It avoids "scientific","essay" and "debunking". It merely brings up a question and discusses it.
Religion is a funny thing. It seems that the leaders of churches seem to say one thing and do another a lot. Religion has a way of burning rules and regulations into the mind. People will go by what they are told without questioning anything. They will snap at those that dare question long held beliefs, even if they are mindful not to attack the other person's beliefs. So i agree with the idea that you could guilt people into not eating peas.
I don't agree with people that nitpick at an article and attempt to completely discredit it over such. Just because people are uncomfortable about a subject simply because they are programmed to do so by society is not a reason to attack the writer. People won't even think that they were programmed to respond negatively to such a topic, that speaks volumes against their argumentation.
I guess people need to ask if they believe psychology is a science or if its a fraud. If they believe that it is a science and that it is useful then they should look into it. Frued, i know i butchered his name, suggests that all boys want to sleep with their mother and all girls want to sleep with their father. If this is true then everyone has been in an incestuous state of mind naturally.
If we have all been in such a state of mind then everyone suggesting that the topic is disgusting is a hypocrite. personally i remember being young and a brother of mine was always trying to peak when my mom would say not to go into her room because she was changing. he was a pain about a lot of things but would behave half the time. However 100% of the time we were told this he was trying to take a peek.
when i was that age I didn't peek. I actually did everything to avoid being near the door. In a way I think I delayed what my brother was going through until later in life. For all of my years as a teenager i never thought of any females other then those completely opposite looking then any that were related to me.
However when I hit 21 I started noticing my sisters around the same age as myself. Then a few years later i noticed my attraction to a younger cousin who everyone thought was 18. A few years later my own mom.
Was it a delayed phase we all go through? I don't know. What I do know is that I am really open sexually. I try to understand what people are into and why they areinto it. What I believe is that I have thrown away programming against certain things after I have thought about it and saw no harm in doing so.What I am left with is a group of women who I love and care about and want to be happy.
sex is one of those things that make people happy. So the idea of pleasing them,not thinking of myself but of them, turns me on. Just as the idea of pleasing some girls i know turns me on. The only difference is i have stronger ties to those that are related to me.
as for emotional damage, anyone can be emotionally damaged in any kind of relationship. Chances are people who are related aren't likely to think about getting married.Instead it would be more of a "fuck buddy" that you have feelings for. As things are now, 2 siblings are not going to come out and say they were fucking for 2 years and now stopped because she got a boyfriend.
At worst the emotional damage would be the pain we feel when we break up with someone. It wouldnt be traumatic since both people thought about things before touching one another. the 2 adults could discuss things before getting involved to lay down rules so that there is no expectations beyond a temporary thing or "when eveer we are single".
of course people are assuming things end badly. but what if it doesnt? what if pleasing each other physically tightens the bonds between 2 people? its something you shared with the other. it is just as likely to end positive then negative. problem is people will argue otherwise.
the author mentioned several times that there is birth control. birth control normal couples use daily and stake everyone on it working. theres no greater chance of you knocking up a related woman then one that is unrelated. so the chances of it preventing pregnancy is equal.
not everyone is a fucked up, crazy,fat ass old man living in the middle of nowhere. people that are able to think things through rationally, that are not old and crazy and socially accepted can be interested in this subject.
Rhed_Fawkesover 15 years agoNot only have I read both of your essays, I have read all of the comments on this one.
Fact: a good deal of the criticism for your subject comes from those unwilling to actually face you, as it were.
Fact: The title itself never states that this is a work of scientific merit. It is your essay and therefore your take on this subject.
Fact: you have stated that you have experience in this subject and therefore I, personally, find you more credible as to this subject. No, I can't verify it, nor do I know you to do so, but what is served by arguing this?
While I do agree that there is a lack of scientific data to support your claims, there is no point in getting as angry as those before me. I enjoyed it for what it was: your writing.
I will admit that I enjoy the genre, and had more than a passing fancy in one of my cousins...perhaps two...but nothing ever happened. I accept who I am with all of my quirks and follies. It sounds as though you do as well. For that, I applaud your writing on such a taboo subject.
(Not bad for a guy on his BlackBerry!)
