- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Winter
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Click herewinter
snow on the branch
the cat sleeps
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 18 years agoI really like the way this (short) poem provokes images. Those few short words brings back memories of winters past.
DJ
WickedEveover 18 years agoI'm hardly qualified to comment on a haiku. It's been ages since I wrote one, and I still need to learn more about them.
I like the poem. I wouldn't use "the" twice in a haiku. "the cat sleeps" doesn't have quite enough impact.
Anonymousover 18 years agoI really like haiku poetry, and I think this is what you're aiming for here. It didn't pull me in like I expected it to. I would love to see you expand a little. Maybe do the 5, 7, 5 counts. I believe it would work out better, and you could add more details by doing so.
Thanks for sharing, and keep writing! :)
Anonymousover 18 years agoA very nice haiku, WSO. The images are clear and free of editorial. I'm no expert on this form, but something you may want to think about: in haiku each word comes at a premium. In this poem you tell us the season 3 times (the title, the first word, and the snow). You might put the space of two of them to better use.
Good work.
Fly
My Erotic Trailover 18 years agofinally showed its strength this week. A good poem for the right weather. I like Haiku, saying so much with so little. Powerful poetry.
TheRainManover 18 years agobeginning to click in, isn't it.
Again, as with your free verse writing, it happens fast -- the little understandings begin to appear.
Do your own thing - 'haiku-wise' - is my suggestion. Read the right people.
