- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Come walk awhile (a villanelle)
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Click hereCome, take my hand and walk awhile with me!
I'll share the day with no one else in mind
our selfishness the gift we give for free.
You'll snuggle close as we walk towards the sea.
I'll cherish all the keepsakes that we find.
Come, take my hand and walk awhile with me.
Your shouted laugh imprints my memory
and racing fast the sunlight makes us blind!
Our selfishness the gift we give for free;
my joy in you explodes in raucous glee
when seagulls scream at us though not unkind!
Come, take my hand and walk awhile with me
as night descends we'll gather from the trees
the firelight that lets the day unwind,
our selfishness the gift we give for free.
The time we share is limited, you see.
We will not waste a glance at whats behind.
Come, take my hand and walk awhile with me
our selfishness the gift we give for free.
- COMMENTS
LeBrozabout 17 years agoThis poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 35,000 poems.
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LeBrozover 17 years agoI find I must agree with foehn's comment; it's right up there with Dylan Thomas' famous villanelle. But where is it written that strophe breaks must follow traditional form? As for the word I'm looking for ~~ perfection!
foehnover 19 years agoI need to read Spike's, but yours (in my opinion) betters Dylan Thomas' famous one.
For some idiotic reason, I missed the traditional stanza breaks; but they do camouflage (sp?) the repeating lines... which maybe is a good thing? Hmmmm.
As ever, you make me think and feel.
monalisa2over 19 years agoi really enjoyed reading this, very descriptive, and yet deep at the same time.
My Erotic Taleover 19 years agoall the villanelles coming in rows
I learned what they are <grin> but this
was the instruction manuel, very very good.
'come walk awhile'
was mood setting and enchanting
excellent poetry~
WickedEveover 19 years agoseen my comment on the board, but I wanted to add one here, too. Like I said, you've inspired me to try a villanelle. I've always shied away from them. Now, I will embrace the villanelle and stroke it lovingly and probably be incarcerated for molesting such a dignified poetry form.
Maria2394over 19 years agoI love your views on life and ability to make something good and kind out of even selfishness. This is my favorite line--
We will not waste a glance at whats behind.
none of us should, yet some of us do... :)
flyguy69over 19 years agoYou have both put up entertaining and engaging poetry today! He is right, though; this one has a wonderful breezy flow ot it.
Well done, Boo.
sandspikeover 19 years agoMy villanelle queen. We both threw ours today, even went
to the same location. Yours flows free and easy, mine has
the rhythm of prop wash. You have painted a colorful
picture of a perfect day.
